Heart, Quarters and Football

Have you ever met or been in the company of a person who touches your inner core?  One who challenges you to look into yourself and answer the difficult question, “Who am I?”  Today a former NFL quarterback did just that and he reminded me to never forget my quarters,

  I am in Orlando Florida for our company’s annual trade show.  Our organization is  a cooperative. As a result we always highlight the power of the group, shared goals and teamwork.  With the meeting part of our show concluded yesterday and  before we headed to the show floor today we were addressed by our keynote speaker.  The person that we enlisted for this task was a former NFL quarterback, Tom Flick.

  I have always been a football fan but I did not recognize his name. Tom explained that he spent seven seasons in the National Football League (NFL) with five different teams. Most of his career he was a backup to the starting quarterback.  So what did a former NFL quarterback have to say to a group of owners of lumber and building materials stores?  The answer, a hell of a lot!

  The first thing that Tom was emphatic that we knew about him was that his first and the ultimate priority in his life are his wife and children.  Funny, a macho former football player had absolutely no problem standing in front of a room full of strangers, and mostly owners of lumber and building materials stores and share where the intimate priorities of his life reside.  For a moment I was taken aback and then I thought “This is a man who is truly comfortable within himself and he has no problem expressing it. He understands that family ties, our connection to others and love are at the center of each and every one of our lives.” And from his first innocent declaration he earned my undivided attention.

  Tom went on to describe his role as an NFL backup quarterback.  To his own admission, he had the best seat in the stadium, an unobstructed view of the field, the sideline!  And then he went on to described a game between the team he was part of, the Washington Redskins, and the opposition, the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Tom’s coach was the legendary Joe Gibbs. With the Redskins trailing and the coach looking for a spark he pulled the starting quarterback, Joe Theisman and put Tom in the game.

  From an early age Tom explained a quarterback is trained to assess the defense. He must know where the attack is coming from (the blitz) and find the weakness, where there is one- on-one coverage on his receivers. Tom did this, but when he looked up he was staring into the eyes of one of the most revered and feared linebackers in the NFL, Pittsburgh’s, toothless, Jack Lambert. 

 In a roaring stadium filled with seventy four thousand fans Jack lined up directly across the center from Tom and with his toothless grin he pointed directly at Tom, not seeing Joe Thiesman lined up under the center and yelled at Tom. “Hey, who are you?”

  An awestruck Tom with the second’s ticking off of the play clock froze.  His veteran center knew enough to hike the ball to him.  Tom handed it off to his running back and guess what? The Redskins scored a touchdown!

   I can’t say whether or not Tom and his team won the game, but I do recall Tom sharing that as he boarded the team’s charter flight back to Washington DC he was not focused on his performance but rather on the question posed from the opposite side of the line of scrimmage.  The one that came from an imposing figure and a formidable foe...  “Who are you?”  In his early twenties Tom knew all that he had accomplished, but he questioned himself, really who was he? 

  This is a question that each and every one of us grapples with.  There is the person that we believe we are and then there is the person we project ourselves to be, but it is within the quiet moments, the moments of our most intimate connections, the ones that exist truly and honestly with ourselves, we know the answers. We can’t lie to ourselves. In solace we find truth whether or not we choose to share it is another story.

  So much of who we are and who we become is shaped by our family.  I have a friend who says that children choose their parents. They do so because they know what it is they are seeking and they know that the parent of their choice will provide it to them. At first I thought this statement was odd, but as I thought about it I understood what she meant.  We align ourselves with those that will support and teach us the most.

  As Tom Flick continued his presentation he delved a bit more into his life.  He told us that he was one of seven children. His Mom died while he was in his twenties and his Dad was a “yes sir, no sir’ type of man but one who lived with integrity.  To this day and each and every day Tom carries two quarters in his pocket.  This is because it was drilled into him and his three brothers to do so.  Each time they would leave home their Dad would ask the boys “Do you have your quarters?”

   Tom said “Most of you will think that the purpose of having these quarters was to use the phone to call home, but that wasn’t it.  Our Dad always made sure that we had two quarters in our pockets.  He said  “If you meet a pretty girl buy her a Coke that is what a gentleman does”

  I was awestruck by this explanation.

  The last seven years of his father’s life, his Dad lived with Tom and his family.  He had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.  It is a debilitating disease with no cure. Tom shared that during this time each and every day he would care for his father.  Not only would not only spend time with him but he would shave and bathe him.  He said “These were the best seven years of my life.”

   Living a compassionate life only makes you realize how fortunate you are to be here and experience life in its fullest form. Don’t lose sight of the gifts that each day holds.

  Tom continued “As my Dad was in his latter stages of this disease and confined to the hospital one day he drew me closer to him and asked “Son, where is my wallet?”

  "I told him it was in the dresser. He said to me, “Son go get it.” So I did.  He asked me to take out two dollars and hand them to him.  I did. And almost on cue as soon as I placed them in his shaky Parkinson’s hand and he held them up, the nurse entered the room.  Dad announced. “Here you go these are for you.”

The nurse replied “Mr. Flick, you know I can’t take your money.”

With his hand’s movements occurring uncontrollably Dad replied “No, take these, when you meet a nice Doctor buy him a Coke”

 Not only did I have tears in my eyes but I was finding it difficult to swallow. This man was steadfast in his convictions and consistent in his beliefs. 

  I was moved by Tom and his ability to share the raw truth  about life and convey the feelings that reside within him. 

 There are so many other things that Tom spoke of.  He explained the difference between leadership and management.  He spoke of inspiration, believing in others, thinking outside of the box and all of these topics were presented with compassion and conviction. But the one thing that he did speak about and that he presented on his Power Point slides was doing all ot these with heart. 

  You know me and the mention of that word draws me in.  Tom said and I too believe, that when you act from the heart with the greatest of intentions, success on all fronts will follow because it is born from the purest space that resides within.

  Thank you Tom Flick  and I will always remember to have two quarters in my pocket each and every time I leave my home. My friends, please do the same.