Soul Scrubbing

I am one week removed from my second visit to the beautiful healing red rocks of Sedona Arizona. My first trip occurred in September of 2011.  That trip was magical.  eaHeart shaped images appeared in the rocks and clouds, colorful rainbows sprouted from the dry desert and deep meaningful connections were established both with the vibrant land and my fellow travelers. If I thought of something it was unexplainably manifested into reality.

  This trip was different.  In my heart of hearts I always knew that I would return to Sedona. In the passing years there had been several group trips that I could not attend as my fellow travelers did.  On those days that I knew that the soles of their feet were touching the red rock and mine were on the office carpet I felt increasingly disconnected and distant.  When this opportunity arose I thought the timing was perfect, that was until the Board of Directors meeting that was scheduled for June 13^th was moved to June 6^th.  A Sedona trip that ended on June 4^th was not in the cards! 

  The wonderfully wise woman arranging the trip made the mere suggestion that since this trip was not focused as much on the group as the previous ones that I could adjust my travel dates to those that accommodated me best.  On one early morning sunlit day while driving to work over a two lane country road with the green leaves just beginning to emerge, the voices within my head said, you need to return to Sedona. Those red rocks contained something that I needed to finish and another journey that I was yet to embark upon. As much as I believed that I was resolute in my decision there was an undercurrent of uneasiness. Each day leading to the trip I battled through it.  I was not sure if it emerged from guilt of taking another trip for me or if it was because I was leery of what was to be revealed.  I inhaled deeply, packed my bags, boarded the airplane and embarked upon the journey.

   So what the hell do these insights have to do with floor care and the soul?   Let me tell you…..

  I remember watching my Grandmother and Mother scrub the floor.  They would wear a pair of yellow Playtex gloves; fill a bucket with hot water and ammonia, Spic ‘N Span or Mr. Clean, get on their knees and place the hard bristle scrub brush in the bucket to wet it. Then they would apply it to the floor, along with a bit of elbow grease.  The abrasive “whsssssss, whssssss, whssssssss” rhythmic sound of the scrub brush against the tile floor rotating in a circular motion said it all. Push hard, dig deep and loosen the dirt and built up residue.   When the area of the floor was cleaned to their satisfaction the clean rinse water would appear to reclaim all of the remains that were dislodged by the scrubbing, cleaning solution and elbow grease. Mom always said every once in a while you have to get down on your knees and just do the work.  Mopping is good but it doesn’t clean the hard to remove, stuck on dirt.

 

  I own a Swiffer.  You know the cleaning system that has the bottle of aromatic cleaning solution attached to the back of the long handle.  The solution sprays out in front of the disposable pad that is attached to the “brush” head.  Heck, the brush head even swivels to reach those tough to get into spaces.  Whoever designed this was a genius! It is user friendly and makes your floors appear beautiful within minutes.  The solution is gentle and actually pleasant on the nostrils. It is a finely designed system that does the job.  Well, almost does the job.  The Swiffer cleaning pad does not and cannot lift the dirt from the deep crevices that are contained in the quietly built up floor reside. 

   So with a soul filled with residue and with much to remove I traveled to Sedona. As I drove into Oak Creek Canyon my reaction to the red rock was different than it was in 2011.  I did not have to pick up my awe struck jaw from the floor of the rental car.  The view was spectacular but expected. and this reaction bothered me. We should not become accustomed to and expect such stunning beauty; conversely we should appreciate every single glimpse of Mother Nature’s unencumbered gifts

 

   Settled after a long trip, on Tuesday morning I retreated to my emotional knees with a bucket and brush by my side and the work began. I dipped the brush into the solution and the cleansing began.  I was not scrubbing a floor or the red rock for that matter; I was removing the layers of life lessons and circumstances that have influenced my thought patterns, expectations and reactions. Simply, I was scrubbing my soul.  Like the floor our souls to do not always showcase the residue that may collect in the corners of the room.  We keep on going, smiling and shining through it all, but secretly we hold our breath and hope that our dirty, unhappy, discontented secrets are not revealed.

  Day in and day out we accumulate residue on our souls.  There was a day that our floors were beautiful and pristine, but the buildup has gradually appeared; an unachieved goal, and a job lost, a rejection a death, a birth, a broken heart and a betrayal. Somehow we mop over it and get through.  Dealing with it headfirst will consume us, so we do our best to deal.  However, the imprint is there and the residue accumulates. Maybe in an effort to survive the best thing that we can do is to tell ourselves that we are okay but many times we are not, what remains builds into a dark black gunk. The accumulation of problems and unresolved discontent builds up into an unbearable uneasiness.

 

   As I walked upon those red rocks I began looking deep within myself.  I evaluated my major life events, my decisions and I revisited my actions and reactions.   We all tend to travel through life swiffering.  It is a quick fix that looks good and smells clean but in reality, underneath the residue remains.  In my case it needed to be disturbed and raised to the surface.  Issues, problems are not attractive but their nasty roots are part of our makeup and they guide our actions.  In the process here is what I unearthed:

  I have lived so much of my life in fear….fear of failure, fear of change, fear of the uncertain, but in failure there are triumphs and lessons and change can be cleansing and life altering, don’t resist it.

  Making the popular choice may satisfy others, but ultimately I am the person who must awake each day and live within my skin. So at the end of the day I am the only one who needs to be satisfied with my final decision.

 

  Too often I have lamented over the fact that I was never a stay at home mom, or that I made the wrong parenting choices.  Hindsight is always 20/20. Forgive yourself. You were merely doing the best you could and you did so with the best of intentions.  Anyway, the instruction manual that was supposed to be delivered along with the kids never arrived! Let it go……..

 If you approach each day with the purest of intentions and do the best you can and live from the heart….a kind heart, goodness will follow.  Even if you do garner immediate feedback stay the course, it is the right one!

 

 

 Nothing stays the same so don’t put all of your energy into trying to halt the change. Allow the river of life to flow. Ride the ebbs and flows, the bends, the breaks and the rapids.

 The Universe presents challenges not to unearth you, but rather to facilitate your growth.

Happiness is not a grandiose destination.  It is found within yourself. The secret is finding peace, beauty and contentment in each moment.  You just don’t wake up on day in a sudden state of happiness it evolves from a place of gratitude; gratitude for where you presently reside, for where you came and where you are traveling to.

  You can only be who you are, not what other want or expect you to be. So don’t keep trying to fulfill another’s vision of you.

 

 Objects and possessions don’t bring you long lasting happiness, people and connections do.

  Perfection is not a sustainable state. You may achieve it, but it is momentary.  It arrives in flashes and dissipates rapidly.  Don’t spend your life chasing it, but rather love and honor the moments when it does occur.

 

  At times life can be overwhelming.  Don’t let the feeling consume you.  Breathe, stay in the moment because that is all you can really do.

   I have been disappointed and I have disappointed others.  Understand that within that moment each of us was simply doing the best that we could. Each of us has resided on both sides of the equation.  Let go of the resentment, let go of the anger and let go of the disappointment.

  Patterns in relationships are co-created. Each partner is culpable.  When you no longer are traveling the same path acknowledge your part in the journey and understand the only piece that you can change is your own. Be mindful of the pitfalls of transition.  We don’t evolve at the same pace, but remember you shared at the same starting point. Go there to rekindle the connection.

 

  As I sat upon Cathedral Rock to witness my last sunrise of the trip I looked into the bucket that contained my rinse water. It was murky and a very deep black.  The elbow grease and Mr. Clean had paid off.  So much within had been removed, some issues have been loosened while others have just felt the first pass of the wshhhhhh, wshhhhhhh of the scrub brush.  Traveling to Sedona is not a prerequisite to scrubbing your soul.  The desire to look within is.  So put down the Swiffer and pick up the scrub brush, feel the coarseness of bristles pass along your beliefs and emotional imprints. Allow them to loosen the gunk, love the journey and be grateful for the gifts that they will unearth.