Mirror, Mirror.......

Yesterday was Memorial Day and without a doubt this year is flying by.  Obligations have kept me busy.  When you make your living in the accounting field the first three months are a blur and the next few evaporate quickly as you attempt of realign your professional and private life. But sometimes in between the chaos of commitments and deadlines  moments of wisdom and enlightenment occur. On two Tuesday mornings in April spaced exactly a week apart in the exact same spot the Universe held a mirror in front of me and imparted her wisdom.

  On the second Tuesday in the month of April some of those old, but way too familiar feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and confinement crept back into my being. On that day work was the absolutely last place that I wanted to be.  The reemergence of these feelings surprised me, I thought I had reconciled them and had moved beyond all that they represented, but here I was again, overwhelmed, discontent and angry. As I drove along the two lane country road that leads to my office the sun was assuming its place of prominence in the crystal clear blue sky. The reappearance of deep green tree leaves along with the yellow and purple flowers that dotted the roadway replaced my thoughts of financial statements, bank lines, invoicing problems and personnel issues.  The blandness of the winter was waning and the colors of spring were presenting themselves; new life and I yearned to be part of it.  But I knew that on this day I could not.

  As I drove into the parking lot feelings I struggle with were in the forefront of my mind. I know within my heart of hearts I should be thankful and overjoyed that I do have the job and position that I do. I should be grateful that I have a place to go each day and that I am successful.  But instead, I was angry. I was sad.  I was finding it difficult to muster the energy to leave the car   I sat for another moment before I turned off the engine.  I hoped that beautifully peaceful music that was emanating from the car stereo system would sooth me, but it didn’t.  And, at that moment, it was irrelevant that I was late.   To me it was all about being where I wanted to be.  And where I was, was not that place.  But obligations and responsibility speak loudly.  So I exit the car, gathered my things and head towards the front door.

   As I placed my hand upon the door handle I noticed one of that one of my downstairs neighbors was arriving.   Instead of entering the building and continuing along my way, I waited and held the door open.  Marianna is a partner in the law firm that occupies the space below my office.  She is also the General Counsel for the Company for which I work.  She possesses a slight frame, but she is extremely knowledgeable, powerful and energetic.  Her personality is effervescent and her smile wide and engaging.  But on this day the woman walking towards the door was different, so very different.  As she approached me her head was hanging downward and her eyes were gazing in the same direction. 

    I greeted her and said, “Good morning Marianna.” 

She looked up.  Her eyes were sullen, shoulders rounded and her smile was nothing more than a slight upturn of the corners of her mouth.  These were the four words she uttered “Here we go again!”
  At that moment the Universe held up a mirror and said, “Look closely”.

 Where was the vibrancy and life? This was not the woman that I thought I knew.  Then I felt that slap across my face. At that moment I realized she was reflecting all of the emotions that I was experiencing, all of the sadness, the stress, the pressure and the confinement.  I thought to myself, “Is this what I look like? Is this the image that I project?” This was nothing less than an “aha moment.” What I think I project and what I actually do are two very different things.

  So with the mirror before for me I realized that with each dawn I have the opportunity and power to define the tone of my day.  As I arise and place my feet on the floor it is my choice. Will the day be positive or not?  I can influence the outcome with my attitude and outlook and more importantly, how I present myself to those around me.  The reflection that was presented to me in the mirror that morning was not only timely but so very revealing, honest and thought provoking.

“Relationship is a mirror in which you can see yourself, not as you would wish to be, but as you are”…..…Jiddu Krishnamurti

  Exactly one week to the day removed from the Universe holding a mirror to my face, I once again approached the door to the office building that I work in.  It was a bright but crisp spring morning.  Unlike last week, this morning I was feeling grateful, vibrant and alive. I exited my car and headed toward the front door.  As I grasped the door handle my eyes were drawn downward.  There it was, nestled next to the door mat, a beautiful creature.  She was winged, mossy green with deep purple outlines and the same color “eyes” embedded in her body.  What was this?  I had never seen such an alluring and elegant creature before.  I bent down and gingerly touched her.  I was not sure if this being still existed within our realm.  She did not readily respond to my touch, but there was some movement.  I took a picture and decided that I was going to leave her just where she was.  When she was ready and able to move on she would. 

 This being was exquisite.  She took my breath away.  I had no idea who she was, but I was so very grateful for her magical presence. Not sure if she was a butterfly or not I conducted some extensive research…… That is, I posted her picture to Facebook and awaited my knowledgeable friends to respond, and they did not disappoint!  I was informed that my new found friend was a Luna Moth. 

 Even though my Facebook friends had filled in the whom, Wikipedia added a few facts about the what and when:

“Actias luna, commonly known as the Luna Moth, is a lime-green, Nearctic Saturniid moth in the family Saturniidae, subfamily Saturniinae.^[1] It has a wingspan of up to 4.5 inches,^[2] making it one of the largest moths in North America.

Life cycle ….In the northeastern United States around New Jersey or New York, the moths produce two generations each year. The first of these appear in April and May, and the second group can be seen approximately nine to eleven weeks later.
Adults eclose, or emerge from their cocoons in the morning. Their wings are very small when they first emerge and they must enlarge them by pumping bodily fluids through them. During this time, their wings will be soft and they must climb somewhere safe to wait for their wings to harden before they can fly away. This process takes about 2 hours to complete. The Luna Moth typically has a wingspan of 8–11.5 cm (3.1–4.5 in)^[4], rarely exceeding 17.78 cm (7.00 in)^[5] with long, tapering hindwings, which have eyespots on them in order to confuse potential predators. Although rarely seen due to their very brief (1 week) adult lives, Luna Moths are considered common.”
  I had shared the picture of the Luna Moth with a friend of mine.  I received this return message:

“A symbol of sensuality, the moth demonstrates the ability to transform, to change in ways that make the best of the circumstances we have been given. Representing optimism and spiritual growth, the moth embodies success, both outside and within." Definitely as sign”:)

  My friend was right, the message was clear.

  This beautiful creature that presented itself to me and took my breath away with its simple elegance was not intended to be long for this world.  Why is such beauty destined to exist for such a short period of time?  Much like the Luna Moth we are all placed upon this earth for an appointed time.  We are never informed of the duration, but we must follow the hands of our own clock.  This moth lives in a state of elegance and beauty for a week or two, others of us take years and years to achieve this status….if we ever do. And do we ever know when we reach our pinnacle, or do we live past it and never realized what we have achieved?

   Within a week’s time at the exact same spot the Universe held up a mirror and said. “Look within.”

  Be aware of how your present yourself, don’t fight the normal flow of life, go with it and remember to always be grateful.  A week later I was reminded to use my time wisely, to embrace the beauty that resides within. Each of us is a powerful being who can change, transform and learn to make the best of the circumstances that we encounter.  Life is a journey not be rushed through but rather, savored. Inner beauty is always with us, outer beauty is fleeting.  Spread your wings and embrace each and every part of who you are.
“Just remember when looking in the mirror, it is always looking back at you...the reflections seen are only ever as kind or as ill as your own projections."…..Morrigan 

Mirror, Mirror…….thank you!