Forget the rules and play by your heart.....

“Forget the rules and play by your heart”. 

This was the message wrapped around a wonderfully satisfying piece of Dove dark chocolate that I unwrapped the other day.  Not only was the treat sweetly satisfying, so was the message.   This foil wrapper got me thinking.  All of our lives we are taught things.  First it is how to walk and talk. Then it is the shapes, colors, numbers and letters.  Before you know it we are off to school. The quest for knowledge continues.  There is literature, sentence structure, algebra, trigonometry, history (both global and US) and of course all of the sciences.  Our brains are crammed with facts, figures and philosophies.

  All of this knowledge should serve us well. If we master one subject we will be well on the way to a successful career.   If done right, this career will bring us personal satisfaction and financial success….and so the cycle begins.  We begin chasing…chasing not only dreams, but things. As Americans we are conditioned to believe that the accumulation of things will bring us satisfaction, social stature and happiness.

 The truth be told there are so many Americans living in McMansions and modest homes that are disillusioned.  Yes we have comfortable homes with manicured lawns; a couple of cars, flat screen televisions in every room, and maybe even a hot tub…..but our lives are lacking warmth, real warmth the kind that comes from the heart not a hot tub.

  I grew tired of the chasing and the keeping up with the Jones’.  I found that the career that once brought me satisfaction, no longer did.  I felt as if I was a caged bird existing between four walls just waiting for the window to open slightly so I merely could feel the rush of fresh air.

  Living from the heart is not taught in school.  I suppose our parents were to teach us much like we were to teach our children, and we do in doses, but we were all too busy chasing things to fully commit.  Today we have several prominent people addressing this subject. One of my favorites is Dr. Brene Brown.  She is a gifted speaker and a wonderful teacher of living from the heart.  She lectures on this subject and is the author of several books including “The Gifts of Imperfection.  Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are.  Your Guide To a Wholehearted Life.” 

  There is so very much wonderful wisdom and insights packed within the one hundred and thirty pages of this this book.  On page one Brene introduces us to this thought:

  “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.  It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.  It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that am also brave and worth of love and belonging.”

  The book continues to reinforce many thoughts and beliefs about living from the heart.  On page ninety Brene says this:

  “Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”

And the nugget from page one hundred and eight:

  “Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing.  It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.”

  All wonderful thoughts and mantra’s to live by.

 The past several years I have gone from living within my head to living from my heart. This is not to say that I am do not think logically or methodically, but this way of thinking is melded with those thoughts and feeling from my heart.  Living this way is not only more satisfying, but also so much healthier.  At an age where most women are not sleeping through the night, I am sleeping deeply and soundly.  I’ve released the worry and anxiety that would rustle me from my sleep at 1:30 a.m. and keep me awake in the darkness with my thoughts and fears until 4:30 a.m.  All the time worrying and solving nothing!

  Within my quest the past several years to live an authentic life; a life guided by the heart I have encountered many wonderful people searching for much of the same and also so many gifted teachers who have shared their wisdom.  This past spring while attending a class on this subject the instructor shared this thought.

  “Emotions should be our barometer, not our compass.”……..Dorinda Gay

Wow!  What an action packed statement!  I know that in the past I have allowed myself to wallow in my feeling of unworthiness, disillusionment and despair.  At times these feeling have consumed me and I have spent days in their uncomfortable company.  If only I had just acknowledged those feelings (i.e. gauged them like a barometer) and not let them direct me to that point of despair (like a compass finds it destination) I would not have wasted so many hours and days of my life.

  No regrets.  Each step is part of our journey.  If you know me you also know that for the past year or so heart shaped images have followed me.  They have appeared in the form of rocks, snow, leaves, oil stains, clouds, grass, reflections of light, aluminum foil, potato peels, potholes, sunlight, in a bagel and yes, even in my tomato soup!  I never take the appearance of a heart shaped image for granted, each one is a gift. And each one is a reminder to continue to live from the heart!

  Here are some of the ways I live from my heart each day…..

….Hold the door open for a stranger.

…Smile the person crossing the street.

….When the person in front of you is driving slowly don’t get aggravated you never know what they are dealing with at that moment.  Anyway, you will get where you are going.

…..Spend time outside Mother Nature is a Universal healer.

…..Tell your children you love them, and more than once a day is okay.

…..Help a friend in need.  They will be there for you too.

….. Take time to be quiet.  Silence is a wonderful healer and it contains answers.

…..Have a conversation with the cashier on the checkout line, you may just make their day.

…..Never forget to play and laugh and remember to laugh and play. With these two things, there is no such thing as too much!

…..and breathe, always breathe…..and breathe deeply!