Reflections......

While in Montana for the writing retreat I loved witnessing the dawn of each new day. It was a sacred time, a peaceful time, one of renewal and hope. At home I have little time to notice the birth of a day.  I am always too busy preparing for it.  There are breakfasts to be made, lunches to be packed, clothes to be ironed and buses to catch.  With all of these obligations and tasks at hand there is little, well, really no time to watch the earth awaken and revive from her slumber.

  My Montana mornings were different.  I would pour my cup of coffee and head to the lakeside dock with the intention of greeting the new day.  My cold hands would be warmed as I wrapped them around the ceramic mug full of steaming hot aromatic liquid.  As I sat upon the cool damp dock I watched as the mist traveling upward from the mug mixed with the rising dew from the lake.  Hot versus cold, dark versus light, night versus day,   Opposing forces melding into one, they too were unified. And as the sun ascends higher the day begins.

  On these silent and peaceful mornings  I gazed upon the trees in the distance and I noticed that they were replicated on the surface of the smooth glass like lake.  The only thing separating the mirror images was the cloudy mist that was rising. Ah, a life parallel.  When we reflect on our lives; where we have been what we have experienced and where we have come from there is always a cloudy part, the unclear section. These are the times in our lives where we experience uncertainty, disarray and confusion. In retrospect we question our life’s mist.  What if we made a different choice or moved in a different direction?  How would our lives be different from the here and now?  We can only imagine what could have been. All we know is what is. This is our reality.

  Maybe it is my age that bubbled all of these feelings to the surface.  When you are younger you just live…you are, and you breathe in each moment. Now with each year that is punched in your birthday dance card, you count, you look back. Thoughts like, “How did I get here so fast?” And “Wasn’t it just yesterday?” become common place.  The face staring back at you in the morning mirror has more wisdom and wrinkles than you care to remember.  In your mind you are still twenty five full of ambition, drive and enthusiasm.   Well, I still do have that drive and enthusiasm; it just moves at a different pace.  Ambition has taken on a whole new look. Her story has changed. 

  This week I was reminded of my past steps.  My college roommate who was a life line sent by the Universe for me, lost her Grandmother. Nana was ninety seven when she departed this earth She was what you would call, a really, really good egg! Not only did she make a wicked chicken salad but her chocolate chip cookies were to die for.  It never mattered how many pieces the postal service delivered them in.  They always tasted wonderful! Their sweetness brightened our taste buds and souls each and every time.  You know why?  It was because they were crafted with love, pure and intentional love. Nana’s smile was wide as her hugs. Her eyes always lively, her laugh was engaging and real, just like her.  Nana was truly an angel that walked on this earth among us.

  And so all of this got me thinking, reflecting upon where I have come from and where I am going. The simple difference between life and death is a breath; a simple single breath. It is something that we all take for granted. Breath is always expected to be there for us, but in the next moment, without warning it may cease. Lack of breathing may signify life versus death but how deeply we breath in each moment is the difference between experiencing life fully or not at all.  Truly breathing in and living fully within each moment is the difference between being hollow versus whole. Our fuel is our breath. It is our currency.  Remembering to inhale deeply, fully and live each moment for what it purely is and has to offer is amazing. It is within this space we discover our place and purpose.  Breathe in each and every experience.  Let it gently whisper to your soul, travel the path and share the lesson.  There are times that we are both students and teachers. Some days we are learning and other days we are teaching. Each step we take is choreographed.  Within the reflections are stories, experiences and lessons. Some are joyous others are not.  Embrace each of your reflections for what is was and brought to your life,  or at the very least enjoy the view!