Since I
returned from my Montana adventure life has been a blur. The months of October and November were consumed
with work obligations, presentations and a conference. The holidays were their usual; so much work,
little to no downtime. Even with the
harried pace and overbooked commitments these past holidays were the calmest I
have ever experienced in my adult life. Angst
did not turn into explosive anger.
Frustration did not lead to arguments.
In all of it I stayed present within the moment. I acknowledged the feelings for what they
were and why they were occurring and then when I was finished with them, I simply
released them. The lessons that I have
learned the past few years and the experience I gained on my trips to Sedona
Arizona and Whitefish Montana paid dividends.
Things didn’t
slow down in January. In my job as
controller the books need to be closed and the financial statements needed to
be readied for the auditors by the third week of the month. So last week the audit was completed,
successfully I may add, and now I have some time to breathe!
Late yesterday
afternoon I attended a full moon hike. It was conducted by my dear friend who
is also an extremely talented energy intuitive. The venue was Lake Hussein situated
at Bear Mountain State Park. The park is
a little slice of heaven nestled between the high mountains and it overlooks
the Hudson River. Picturesque and peaceful best describes this spot.
The past
week the east coast has been mired in bitter cold snap. Driving to work last week the outside
temperature on my car thermometer ranged between one and eleven degrees. When
you walk outside and inhale the cold air it feels as if your lungs are being
stabbed. Yesterday the temperatures were
a little warmer, a balmy twenty three degrees but the continuous howling wind
made it feel so much colder. It was so
cold that my Thursday night dog (my friend’s fur child) could not make the hike
because bitter temperatures posed a potential freezing hazard to his paws.
I had
committed to go on this hike and I wanted to participate but my circulation isn’t
the best and I suffer with numbness in the hands and feet. However, a full moon hike can’t be
rescheduled for a day or two until the conditions are more favorable. With several layers of clothes I instantly
turned into a clone of the Pillsbury Dough Boy and with hand warmers in tow for
my gloves I met the others for the hike.
Including
our guide and her partner there were seven of us that were willing to brave the
elements. We gathered within the lodge
and found a quiet corner to set our intention. We sat upon on the couches and chairs
made of tree logs and with the late afternoon sun streaming through the windows
we gathered. The chatter quickly ceased
and each of us was intent on listening to our guide. I may be paraphrasing a
bit, but this is what I believe she said:
“Thank you
all for coming out today. Yes it is cold
outside but go within yourself to that place where your soul ignites. See the
flame that resides within and let it warm you along this journey. Allow your aura to expand don’t cross your arms
to keep the warmth within. Walk freely and openly and allow the warmth to flow
through you. Set your intention. What it is that you are done with within your
life and ask for clarity and resolution as you move forward. And above all, whatever healer you may work
with or be aligned with, know this….nature is our ultimate healer.”
Onward into
Mother Nature’s playground we ventured. The
wind was blowing forcefully in our faces but we continued to move forward. A few people took to skipping. It was a wonderful reminder that in life as
hard as we work we need to play and find joy in simple moments.
We made a
few stops as we circled the lake to pause, reflect and absorb. And on several occasions the lake spoke back
to us. It was not simply the sound of
the ice cracking it was the deep moaning that reverberated off the mountains.
The tone was strong and deep. It instantly
permeated our souls. The feeling was not one of pain it was one of
gratitude. I can only equate it to the sounds
of dolphins cheerfully communicating this was a song of thanks.
We stopped
along one of the higher portions of the lake and with snow, ice and all we
climbed upon them. Somehow we just knew
that we would all be safe and secure. As
we stood upon this rock and could see the mountains, the bridge across the
river and the lodge in the distance we were connected to source. With cars zooming towards their destination
we stood quiet and still. We absorbed
the beauty before us and filtered out the noise.
In the frozen crust of the lake was a
message. Individually our lives take
their own course but at some point we are destined to meet and converge. Our
souls will intersect and we will learn from one another. The lessons may be simple or they may be
complicated and intertwined, but it is destiny.
Our journey around the lake was nearing its
end our guide motioned for us to walk up the last hill. Yes it was snow and ice covered it but she
knew we needed to do this. After walking twenty or so yards upward she said
“Turn and
look.”
And there it was. In all of its glory the moon was rising
behind the distant mountain. The breath was sapped from my lungs not by the
cold but by the pure and simple beauty unfolding before me. I snapped several pictures. The result was
grainy from my attempt to zoom in and cut out the parking lot lights. However,
somehow the graininess speaks to our cohesiveness. The varying specs of color co-existing and co-creating
effortlessly blend together. What the lens cannot capture remains documented within
the heart.
Chilled to
the bone I made my way home. I was thankful for the journey and grateful for
the experience.
Sunday
morning my bones were a bit stiff from yesterday’s activities, but I am hearing
the call to go out and walk again. Instead
of taking my usual route towards the right which leads me into the housing development
I grew I in, I turn left. To the left
there are more open spaces, trees and life.
I was shortly into my journey when I saw the street sign for “Palamar Drive”
In an instant I was transported back to 1973.
I always have had a love for baseball and in 1973 the town began a
softball league for girls. My parents knowing
my interest signed me up. My coach lived
in Palamar Park and we practice on a field within its community. I was so
excited. I knew that this was it for me!
But as the practices continued and the games began my eleven year old
self realized that I was in a place where dreams and reality do not meet coexist.
I could not
run fast. My tendency was to stay back
on my heels and not up on my toes. Even
though I was physically strong my power was not evident at the plate. Steadfast within stance I would watch as the
pitch arrived, but at the moment of contact I was not focused on where I was
but where I envisioned the ball going. My eyes gazed towards the outfield wall
and the ball traveled into the catcher's mitt.
After a year
of slow running and swings and misses I hung up my cleats. Dejected and knowing that I wasn’t good
enough I relegated myself to living my dreams through the professional baseball
players.
It wasn’t
until that moment this morning that I understood the lesson. It took thirty
some years to get it, but finally I did. If we stay back on our heels we will
not be ready to quickly move forward.
And more importantly if we focus on where we think we are going we will
lose the moment and the connection that occurs at the point of impact. When we see the ball hitting the bat through
our swing we are connecting within the moment and within our hearts... It is pure and we are connected. However, when we gaze beyond the moment and
are looking to where we think we should be we miss the ball, we are disconnected.
The moment is lost and the destination
is clouded.
Upon this realization
the Universe showered me with affirmations. I captured over a half dozen heart
images on my cell phone camera and paid homage to many more as I walked past
them. Sometime the Universe provides a gentle reminder to us and other time it
hits us squarely over the head. Thank
you Universe for the stern reminder, much like yesterday as I connected with
the moon as it rose above the mountain, I am back and I promise not to be
absent this long again!
