Finding Warmth within the Cold.

  Since I returned from my Montana adventure life has been a blur.  The months of October and November were consumed with work obligations, presentations and a conference.  The holidays were their usual; so much work, little to no downtime.  Even with the harried pace and overbooked commitments these past holidays were the calmest I have ever experienced in my adult life.  Angst did not turn into explosive anger.  Frustration did not lead to arguments.  In all of it I stayed present within the moment.  I acknowledged the feelings for what they were and why they were occurring and then when I was finished with them, I simply released them.  The lessons that I have learned the past few years and the experience I gained on my trips to Sedona Arizona and Whitefish Montana paid dividends. 

  Things didn’t slow down in January.  In my job as controller the books need to be closed and the financial statements needed to be readied for the auditors by the third week of the month.  So last week the audit was completed, successfully I may add, and now I have some time to breathe!

  Late yesterday afternoon I attended a full moon hike. It was conducted by my dear friend who is also an extremely talented energy intuitive. The venue was Lake Hussein situated at Bear Mountain State Park.  The park is a little slice of heaven nestled between the high mountains and it overlooks the Hudson River. Picturesque and peaceful best describes this spot. 

  The past week the east coast has been mired in bitter cold snap.  Driving to work last week the outside temperature on my car thermometer ranged between one and eleven degrees. When you walk outside and inhale the cold air it feels as if your lungs are being stabbed.  Yesterday the temperatures were a little warmer, a balmy twenty three degrees but the continuous howling wind made it feel so much colder.  It was so cold that my Thursday night dog (my friend’s fur child) could not make the hike because bitter temperatures posed a potential freezing hazard to his paws.

  I had committed to go on this hike and I wanted to participate but my circulation isn’t the best and I suffer with numbness in the hands and feet.  However, a full moon hike can’t be rescheduled for a day or two until the conditions are more favorable.  With several layers of clothes I instantly turned into a clone of the Pillsbury Dough Boy and with hand warmers in tow for my gloves I met the others for the hike.

  Including our guide and her partner there were seven of us that were willing to brave the elements.  We gathered within the lodge and found a quiet corner to set our intention. We sat upon on the couches and chairs made of tree logs and with the late afternoon sun streaming through the windows we gathered.  The chatter quickly ceased and each of us was intent on listening to our guide. I may be paraphrasing a bit, but this is what I believe she said:

 “Thank you all for coming out today.  Yes it is cold outside but go within yourself to that place where your soul ignites. See the flame that resides within and let it warm you along this journey.  Allow your aura to expand don’t cross your arms to keep the warmth within. Walk freely and openly and allow the warmth to flow through you. Set your intention. What it is that you are done with within your life and ask for clarity and resolution as you move forward.  And above all, whatever healer you may work with or be aligned with, know this….nature is our ultimate healer.”

 Onward into Mother Nature’s playground we ventured.  The wind was blowing forcefully in our faces but we continued to move forward.  A few people took to skipping.  It was a wonderful reminder that in life as hard as we work we need to play and find joy in simple moments. 

  We made a few stops as we circled the lake to pause, reflect and absorb.  And on several occasions the lake spoke back to us.  It was not simply the sound of the ice cracking it was the deep moaning that reverberated off the mountains. The tone was strong and deep.  It instantly permeated our souls. The feeling was not one of pain it was one of gratitude.  I can only equate it to the sounds of dolphins cheerfully communicating this was a song of thanks.  

  We stopped along one of the higher portions of the lake and with snow, ice and all we climbed upon them.  Somehow we just knew that we would all be safe and secure.  As we stood upon this rock and could see the mountains, the bridge across the river and the lodge in the distance we were connected to source.  With cars zooming towards their destination we stood quiet and still.  We absorbed the beauty before us and filtered out the noise.

   In the frozen crust of the lake was a message.  Individually our lives take their own course but at some point we are destined to meet and converge. Our souls will intersect and we will learn from one another.  The lessons may be simple or they may be complicated and intertwined, but it is destiny.

   Our journey around the lake was nearing its end our guide motioned for us to walk up the last hill.  Yes it was snow and ice covered it but she knew we needed to do this. After walking twenty or so yards upward she said

  “Turn and look.”

  And there it was.  In all of its glory the moon was rising behind the distant mountain. The breath was sapped from my lungs not by the cold but by the pure and simple beauty unfolding before me.  I snapped several pictures. The result was grainy from my attempt to zoom in and cut out the parking lot lights. However, somehow the graininess speaks to our cohesiveness.  The varying specs of color co-existing and co-creating effortlessly blend together. What the lens cannot capture remains documented within the heart.

  Chilled to the bone I made my way home. I was thankful for the journey and grateful for the experience.

  Sunday morning my bones were a bit stiff from yesterday’s activities, but I am hearing the call to go out and walk again.  Instead of taking my usual route towards the right which leads me into the housing development I grew I in, I turn left.  To the left there are more open spaces, trees and life.  I was shortly into my journey when I saw the street sign for “Palamar Drive” In an instant I was transported back to 1973.  I always have had a love for baseball and in 1973 the town began a softball league for girls.  My parents knowing my interest signed me up.  My coach lived in Palamar Park and we practice on a field within its community. I was so excited. I knew that this was it for me!  But as the practices continued and the games began my eleven year old self realized that I was in a place where dreams and reality do not meet coexist.

  I could not run fast.  My tendency was to stay back on my heels and not up on my toes.  Even though I was physically strong my power was not evident at the plate.  Steadfast within stance I would watch as the pitch arrived, but at the moment of contact I was not focused on where I was but where I envisioned the ball going. My eyes gazed towards the outfield wall and the ball traveled into the catcher's mitt.

  After a year of slow running and swings and misses I hung up my cleats.  Dejected and knowing that I wasn’t good enough I relegated myself to living my dreams through the professional baseball players.

  It wasn’t until that moment this morning that I understood the lesson. It took thirty some years to get it, but finally I did. If we stay back on our heels we will not be ready to quickly move forward.  And more importantly if we focus on where we think we are going we will lose the moment and the connection that occurs at the point of impact.  When we see the ball hitting the bat through our swing we are connecting within the moment and within our hearts...  It is pure and we are connected.  However, when we gaze beyond the moment and are looking to where we think we should be we miss the ball, we are disconnected.  The moment is lost and the destination is clouded. 

  Upon this realization the Universe showered me with affirmations. I captured over a half dozen heart images on my cell phone camera and paid homage to many more as I walked past them. Sometime the Universe provides a gentle reminder to us and other time it hits us squarely over the head.  Thank you Universe for the stern reminder, much like yesterday as I connected with the moon as it rose above the mountain, I am back and I promise not to be absent this long again!