An Onion and a White Feather

This was a difficult week for my family.  On Saturday February 2, 2013 my cousin Kevin completed his journey upon this earth.  He was fifty four years and thirteen days old.  His heart, which was as large as his wisecracking personality, failed him.  Now his children, siblings and parents begin living into their new reality, life without him.

  On Sunday as I headed out into the bitter cold for a walk I did so with a heavy heart. My thoughts were with Kevin and his family. I found as I walked I no longer felt the cold.  I only felt warmth. The warmth was fueled by family memories.  There were the holidays at our grandparent’s house, family barbeques, graduation celebrations, weddings and birthdays. Yes, as children the siblings and cousins disagreed…..okay, we fought at times. But isn’t that what families are all about? Sharing the good and the bad, creating the stories and the memories and as years progress the incidents that seemed horrible and overwhelming in that moment are now laughed about.

  After two hours of walking and reliving memories I returned home.  It was Super Bowl Sunday and we were going to a party at a friend’s house. Yes, despite hardship, life does go on.  With this in mind and a 5:30 party date I figured I better get busy in the kitchen and make the food items I committed to bring.

  First on my list to prepare was the coleslaw.  I grabbed an onion cut off the bottom and then the top.  As the sliced off onion top rested upon the cutting board I stood staring at it in amazement. I could not believe my eyes.  There within the layers of the onion top was a discolored section.  The light brown spot lying within the whiteness of the onion was a perfectly shaped heart! I felt chills from my head to my toes.  Then I simply began to laugh. My laughter continued and as it did tears ran down my cheeks.  These were not tears created by the pungent onion aroma these were tears born from joy.  I understood the message and I could not believe the object that was selected to deliver it.

  The onion is a metaphor for life.  It contains layers and layers circled around one another.  Each ring touches one another and some are intertwined. Based upon their position the rings vary in size.  They span from the center to the middle to the end.  Cut an onion open and you can see its life cycle from beginning to end.

  In their raw state onions are sharp in flavor and sting the taste buds. However, the raw onion sitting on my cutting board was delivering the gentlest and mellowest of messages. Life is not always what you expect, or what you think it should be. Within our layers along with happiness and joy, we experience bitterness, disappointment and grief.  As I stood looking at this onion top and wiping away my tears I was reminded that no matter what we may think or feel within those dark moments ultimately we are always loved.  Even if it is concealed (as it was within this onion) it is always there.

 Last night I attended Kevin’s wake. The room was overflowing with family, friends and flowers. I made my way to the front of the room. I knelt down at the casket and the first thing that I noticed was a white feather.  It was placed under the lapel on the right side of Kevin’s jacket. Within an instant I understood the significance of the white feather and why it was with him. As with many symbols there is always a family story that accompanies it.

 Kevin was my Mother's godson. When my Mom turned seventy my sister's and I threw her a birthday party. We asked each of our Mom's godchildren to say a few words. Kevin with his wise cracking charm delivered a memorable and heartfelt tribute. He spoke of a time when he was with our Grandmother and he found a white feather. He asked her about the feather and our Grandmother explained that when you find a white feather it means that someone in heaven was watching over you.

  It is funny how the smallest of exchanges can have the largest impacts upon our lives. The significance of the white feather was very important to Kevin. He wanted to share this with my Mom, whom he so loved very much.  My Mother was especially close to my Grandmother (my Dad's Mom). So when Kevin presented my Mother with the feather she knew that it was not only a heartfelt gift from him but one from all those above who were looking out for her and sending their love to her on that day.

 As I rose from the kneeler my Mother was standing beside me. She hugged me and whispered into my ear "Did you see the feather?"

  I replied "It was the first thing that I saw."

 Mom said "Kevin gave me one at my seventeenth birthday. I wish I could remember the whole story."

 As I hugged her I said. "It means that the angels and your loved ones in heaven are watching over you. Kevin is taking his along with him to acknowledge all of those that watched over him during his lifetime."

 Today was the funeral and the details of Kevin’s service are private and should remain that way so I will not discuss them. What I will say is that it was apparent how deeply he loved and how much he was loved in return.

 At the very end of the service I gazed across the church and it was then that I saw a glimmer of Kevin.  His son who is around thirteen years old had his younger sister in a head lock hold/hug. (I tend to err on the side of hug.)  And as he was doing this he grinned.  The grin so very was familiar and when he scrunched his eyes and furled his brow I saw Kevin.  He was alive within his son’s mischievous smile and playful eyes.

  As ridiculous as it may seem it was within an onion and a white feather that I found solace this week. An odd combination for sure, one is known to make you cry and the passing of the other upon your skin will make you laugh. Maybe the lesson is this; within the bitterness of our loss we will find our hearts, remember to laugh and more importantly live.  My family’s loss is deep but may we all find comfort in knowing that there is a new angel on the job.  He has a huge heart, a hardy laugh and a unique grin. Suffice it to say, from this day forward the earth will be blanked with white feathers. Don’t forget to pick yours up!