Pulling Weeds

 This morning the sun was bright, the sky blue, the breeze light and welcoming. I was buoyed and felt light as I stepped out my front door to embark on my morning walk. What caught my eye and screamed “I need attention” were the weeds that had instantaneously and insidiously decorated the flower beds along our walkway.  With the frigid whiteness of winter just a few weeks removed from our memory new and incestuous life is had appeared.

  My walk was meditative and equally invigorating. When I returned home I grabbed a quick bite to eat and before I showered I decided that I better get outside and attend to mess that had suddenly sprouted.   With garden gloves, hand tools and weed bucket in hand I was up for the challenge. This one I knew I was going to win.  It was me against the weeds….they didn’t stand a chance.

  The spreading evergreen bushes in the flower bed had already been trimmed by the local deer.  I thought to myself, “How perfect would this world be if deer loved the taste of weeds? “ Could you imagine having a living weed remover that costs you nothing more than a few plants? Oh well we can dream. The deer will continue to eat my plants and ignore the weeds that reside literally right under their noses.

  As I bent over and yanked hard on the first few weeds they resisted and the greens broke off at the stem.  Under the soil the root was still intact.  I picked up my hand shovel and began digging towards the anchor, the force that keeps the ornery plant alive.  They fasten themselves deeply to the root to support their cause.    If I was going to win this war I need to disarm the enemy at its core.

  With each pull on the green and viney growth I was inching closer towards clarity.  Aren’t these stubborn and uninvited guests much like the obstacles that we encounter in our lives?  We all have weeds that attach to us.  You know the undesirable pieces of us that impede the beauty of our personal landscapes. They anchor us to the belief that we are unlovable, undesirable or unwanted. Or, simply a nuisance.

 I abandoned the pulling and I began digging.  I wanted, no needed, to unearth the roots of the weeds so that they would have difficulty resurfacing. 

 After trimming some tree branches my husband joined me.  He pulled a few and threw them into the bucket.  I asked. “Did you get the roots?”

  “Uh, I don’t think so” he answered.  I circled back to where he came from and began digging towards the roots.   I could tell he was angry with me.  He believed that I was questioning his work, but little did he know that I was on a mission.  Today these stubborn and annoying weeds gave me the gift of clarity. To deal with an issue you need to get to its core, right to the root. 

  Earlier as I was pulling, yanking and digging I thought to myself.  When I am finished I need to buy some of that black plastic weed blocker.  I can lie that down over this flower bed and then cover it with the chocolate colored mulch.  The weeds won’t grow through that and I won’t have to deal with this anymore. 

  From the surface that is a quick fix, but lurking beneath the black plastic resides the roots of those weeds, those issues.  Maybe the lack of sunlight and water will impede their growth but their core remains.  Can we every really bury our issues if we do not deal with the real cause of them?  Not really.  And if we trick ourselves into believing so it is merely a temporary fix.  In order to move forward and grow we need to come face to face with the issue.  Stare at it and if it wishes allow it to stare back, Until we do so no cutting, pulling, or yanking will resolve what has fastened itself to our hearts. The negative will hinder us from blooming into all of the beautiful goodness that resides within.

   I finished my chores and admired those flower beds with crisp edges and weed less zones. I was not exhausted, but exhilarated.  Today from those suborn, bullish and pervasive dandelions I garnered a great lesson.  Don’t cover up or cut off the problem at its base look beneath, beyond and within to unearth the deep seated cause. Once you eradicate the root issue you can truly bloom into a beautiful unencumbered flower you are meant to be.

Your Inner Guru

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”…….Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Since we are friends I am going to let you in on a little secret.  Well really it is far from little and really, it is rather important.  Each of spends hours, days, weeks and years of our lives attempting to be more than we believe we are. We want to be better. We want to achieve, succeed and try to fit in and be the best we can.  We seek out those whom we think will show us the way and lead us down our desired path.  They are the leaders in their fields, experts, teachers, masters and gurus.  They have achieved so they must know the magical formula to get us from here to there. The truth is you may think that you need a parent, an elder, teacher, or guru to transport you to that place, but they are simply our tour guides.  The quest for knowledge, change and the willingness to do the work comes from within.  The teacher sparks the interest with their stories, words and insights but the student’s desire is the fuel that ignites the flame and facilitates the growth.

  This is how the dictionary and conventional wisdom defines a guru.

gu·ru 1. Hinduism. a preceptor giving personal religious instruction. 2. an intellectual or spiritual guide or leader. 3. any person who counsels or advises; mentor: The elder senator was her political guru. 4. a leader in a particular field: the city's cultural gurus.

  Throughout the years there has been an unwritten set of criteria, a spectrum so to speak, in which we compared and compartmentalize ourselves in relation to others. Within it lies a hierarchal chain of status.  We need to fit into one of them and we crave acceptance. It is human nature to do so.  Each and every day of our lives in some shape or form we seek acceptance.  Validation is part of the human experience. If your thoughts and beliefs are accepted, well, then, so are you.  Ultimately, the truth is, we are stronger, wiser and much more resilient than we realize.

  We are conditioned to revel in those who have achieved.  The athletes, actors, pop stars, etc.  The media continues to inundate us with their successes, whereabouts, homes, vacations and love lives.  From where we sit they have it all. They are better than us.  So many people spend their lives aspiring to be like those who have achieved these perceived successes. Or at the very least we strive to be more successful than our peers.  But for what, where is the payoff? 

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear.”…Buddha

 

  In our infancy we rely on those who are older, larger and wiser to guide and more importantly protect us. Readily and comfortably submissive we long for strong arms to embrace us and tender hearts to gently guide us.

       When a child attempts his first steps their parents are their constant companions.  They are there to hold their child’s hand and steady their gait.  The goal is to support the child but then the time comes when we must loosen our grip and allow the child to venture out unassisted. It goes without saying that the child will stumble and fall, but after the tears they pick themselves up and garner knowledge from the missteps.

  It is the same when you are ready to undertake any new task, hobby or interest. If you want to learn to play golf you take lessons from a pro.  If you want to learn to draw or paint you seek out an artist. If you want to learn to play an instrument you seek out a musician and if you are seeking a spiritual experience you seek out a guru. It is inevitable that you will stumble, fall or at eh very least, misstep. In the infancy of our appointed journey we too look for guidance and someone to steady us along the path.

    Below is the answer to the secret that I promised to share, so gather in close and pay attention……

 Study the spelling of the word guru.  It contains four letters, g-u-r-u.  Gee you are you!  All that we seek resides within.  It always has and it always will. Validation and acceptance are the keys that unlock what our heart desires.   So often we lose sight of it, but each of us holds our own power. No one can take from us what we refuse to relinquish.   Simply find within that place of comfort, hold onto it, revel in it and discover that ultimately all along…… gee you are you!!!

 

  And once you connect and align with your inner guru remember to smile because when you do the world smiles back at you.

Blessings and Being

At times the Universal calendar perfectly aligns.  This past week we celebrated two major religious holidays, Easter and Passover.  Both celebrations are born from strife, pain and hardship and the each revel in renewal and rejuvenation.

 Personally, this week for me was both demanding and tiring. I traveled to Florida on Palm Sunday to my company’s annual trade show.  It is a very important and equally grueling few days.  Realizing that the show was scheduled during Holy Week I knew that I would be too exhausted to host the holiday.  Did I feel guilty?  Without a doubt I did. But I also have come to realize that you can only do what you can do.  My remaining twangs of guilt were dissolved when I heard that my parents were spending the holiday with my sister and her husband in Pennsylvania.

  Knowing that my parents had a place to celebrate the holiday I moved into the weekend exhausted from the demands of my work week, but thankful that I had two days to replenish my energy.

  Of course the best laid plans of mice and men usually go astray.  After a long peaceful walk on Saturday morning the balance of my day consisted of grocery shopping and cooking.  Chores.  Each task was necessary but all equally invasive upon my time.

  My plans for Sunday were focused and simple, take it easy.  Sleep as late as I wanted to, stay in my pajamas all day if that is what I desired and attend Easter service when I was ready. Then I was to cook a nice meal for my family.

  Saturday night, just before I was ready to head to bed I received a text message from my friend Kerry that said. “Hi Kathy, meeting Margaret outside of Torches for a 6:15 sunrise service.  Come if u can!”

  As soon as I read the message I knew that along the shoreline of the Hudson River was where I was going to welcome Easter morning, I set my alarm for 5:15 a.m. and headed to bed.  So much for sleeping in! It was now about being where you are called to be.  In my past I would have received that message and say to myself “I can’t do that.”  Now my response is, “There is no reason why I can’t do that.”  It is all about changing the dialog with yourself.  Don’t immediately impose roadblocks within your journey but rather open the space for growth to occur.

  To the surprise of my husband I arose before him, dressed grabbed my coffee and drove off within the dark stillness of the morning.  When I arrived at the river front I searched for my friend.  Within five minutes she arrived.  One thing that you have to understand about Kerry is that she speaks her truth and it comes directly from her heart. She is equally honest and comedic in her responses.  Usually Kerry is the brunt of her own jokes…..this was a wonderful lesson that I have learned from her. Simply, if you can’t laugh at yourself without abandon, who else can you really and truly laugh at with a clear understanding of circumstances? Always maintain a clear conscious and life will be good.

  When Kerry arrived I took my keys, left my pocketbook and phone behind and locked my car.  We were heading to an Easter morning service so I knew that my cell phone would not be welcomed.  As we made our way to the service area we spotted our friend Margaret.  After hugs and Easter greetings our overflowing hearts added warmth to the day and cut the chilly morning air.  A March Easter equals thirty degree mornings.

 As we stood in the dawning moments of Easter Sunday the sky above the river was speckled in pastel shades of light, blue, yellow and a fair pink were abundant.  The hues changed as the sun was rising.  The dark pastel pink turned to lighter shades.  I kept thinking of my phone/camera in the car.  As much as I wanted to run back to get it and capture the beauty of the sky, I didn’t want to interrupt the sacredness of the moment.  With the mighty Hudson River eerily still I knew that I needed to do the same.  Remain where I was and do not create a ripple. Ripples change the direction of the flow.

  The service was a mix of faiths and denominations but we were bound by a common bond, the sacredness of Mother Earth.  As each prayer, hymn and response was uttered the river, mountains and sky were staring back at us and saying, “Thank you for bearing witness.” It was a beautiful exchange of oneness and connection.

  I struggle to find the words that bring you to the place where I resided.  The feelings within a chapel are hard to describe and it is even more difficult when the windows are not constructed of stained glass, but rather an unobstructed view of a day evolving. It was pure bliss.

 As I walked away from the service centered, grounded and renewed I was grateful for the experience and overwhelmingly thankful to my friend for the invitation.  Without her prodding and if I chose to listen to the “cannot voice” versus my new found “why not” voice I would have slept through a glorious morning.

 After returning home for a bite to eat and a little rest I decided to go out for a walk.  The sun was no longer visible. The clouds replaced her presence.  But fresh air and a silent walk hold the keys to clarity.  On this day not only was clarity within reach but so were some beautiful images.

  In these last several months I have learned to listen to the “turn around” and the “go back” sounds, there are usually messages residing there.  On my walk I had my phone/camera and I captured these Easter messages and images.

A supported heart…

An angel…

Another heart….

Another angel…

A cross….

 A witness at the tomb….

A hallelujah along the road….

During my walk many thoughts crossed my mind.  I wondered about peace and why it eludes so many of us.  Why do we limit our expectations?  How come we rush through life and miss the simple moments of beauty?  So I began to craft my list of “Be’s” They may be, Be’s Belief’s, Breath’s or Beings….Here are a few of them.

  Be kind to others, but more importantly remember to be kind to yourself first.

 Believe that there are miracles around the corner and when they don’t arrive when you expect them know that this moment was not right.

 Be your best self each and every day.  When you give your all, your greatness will be seen.

 Breathe, take moments to breathe.  Each and every single breath is a gift, don’t squander it or take it for granted.

 Be yourself, because no one else can be you.

 Be aware of the strength and beauty that resides within you.  There will be times that you need to draw upon it, and you will be amazed at your resolve and resilience.

  Be strong and gentle.  An odd combination but when they reside in harmony they are a powerful combination.

  Simply……….and purely…….be…….. And breathe.

 When I returned from my walk I was renewed and was ready to commit my thought to paper.  I was going to post an Easter/Passover Blog.   First I figured I would get the meal underway so that I could free up my time to write. 

 Then the reminder from my daughter arrived.  The rough draft of her thesis was due at twelve p.m. on Monday and she had asked me to assist her in the editing process.  I promised and I would never consider reneging on such a commitment.  I knew that my plans for this post were waning.

  The sections of my daughter’s thesis began arriving.  Yes, I was anxious about my time.  I wanted to write this Easter blog and the hours of Easter Sunday were waning.  I did not have time to edit her paper and accomplish my goal. But then the same peaceful feeling that I experienced at the riverfront in the morning overtook me. Editing my daughter’s thesis was the primary task at hand.  As parents this is what we strive to do, be there when our children need us the most.  I began editing and I released my expectations of what I wanted versus what was to be. 

   For me the lesson became so very apparent. We tend to pigeon hole ourselves into a time frame.  I believed that I needed to post my Easter/Passover message on that day for it to be heard. In actuality so many people resonate with the feelings of a season on a designated day and that day only.  The real message of the holiday is to feel joy, renewal and resurrection throughout the year. These feelings are not designated for one specific day.  We are meant to carry them within us each and every day of our lives.  So you may be reading this a few days after the actual holiday, or it may be weeks, months or even years thereafter, but ask yourself am I carrying the Easter and Passover joy within my heart today, or have I put it back on the shelf and am awaiting to retrieve it next year?  

 Blessings to you my friends and remember the egg. It is the universal sign of Easter and is the ultimate symbol of new life and growth. I hope you have found your egg and are holding onto it. May joy and renewal be yours today and all of your tomorrows.

 

 

 

  And right before I posted these thoughts I realized that this was my fortieth blog post.  Ironically lent has forty days of sacrifice and strife leading up to the joys of Easter. A coincidence?  No, a message, yes.