Forget the rules and play by your heart.....

“Forget the rules and play by your heart”. 

This was the message wrapped around a wonderfully satisfying piece of Dove dark chocolate that I unwrapped the other day.  Not only was the treat sweetly satisfying, so was the message.   This foil wrapper got me thinking.  All of our lives we are taught things.  First it is how to walk and talk. Then it is the shapes, colors, numbers and letters.  Before you know it we are off to school. The quest for knowledge continues.  There is literature, sentence structure, algebra, trigonometry, history (both global and US) and of course all of the sciences.  Our brains are crammed with facts, figures and philosophies.

  All of this knowledge should serve us well. If we master one subject we will be well on the way to a successful career.   If done right, this career will bring us personal satisfaction and financial success….and so the cycle begins.  We begin chasing…chasing not only dreams, but things. As Americans we are conditioned to believe that the accumulation of things will bring us satisfaction, social stature and happiness.

 The truth be told there are so many Americans living in McMansions and modest homes that are disillusioned.  Yes we have comfortable homes with manicured lawns; a couple of cars, flat screen televisions in every room, and maybe even a hot tub…..but our lives are lacking warmth, real warmth the kind that comes from the heart not a hot tub.

  I grew tired of the chasing and the keeping up with the Jones’.  I found that the career that once brought me satisfaction, no longer did.  I felt as if I was a caged bird existing between four walls just waiting for the window to open slightly so I merely could feel the rush of fresh air.

  Living from the heart is not taught in school.  I suppose our parents were to teach us much like we were to teach our children, and we do in doses, but we were all too busy chasing things to fully commit.  Today we have several prominent people addressing this subject. One of my favorites is Dr. Brene Brown.  She is a gifted speaker and a wonderful teacher of living from the heart.  She lectures on this subject and is the author of several books including “The Gifts of Imperfection.  Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are.  Your Guide To a Wholehearted Life.” 

  There is so very much wonderful wisdom and insights packed within the one hundred and thirty pages of this this book.  On page one Brene introduces us to this thought:

  “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.  It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.  It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that am also brave and worth of love and belonging.”

  The book continues to reinforce many thoughts and beliefs about living from the heart.  On page ninety Brene says this:

  “Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”

And the nugget from page one hundred and eight:

  “Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing.  It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.”

  All wonderful thoughts and mantra’s to live by.

 The past several years I have gone from living within my head to living from my heart. This is not to say that I am do not think logically or methodically, but this way of thinking is melded with those thoughts and feeling from my heart.  Living this way is not only more satisfying, but also so much healthier.  At an age where most women are not sleeping through the night, I am sleeping deeply and soundly.  I’ve released the worry and anxiety that would rustle me from my sleep at 1:30 a.m. and keep me awake in the darkness with my thoughts and fears until 4:30 a.m.  All the time worrying and solving nothing!

  Within my quest the past several years to live an authentic life; a life guided by the heart I have encountered many wonderful people searching for much of the same and also so many gifted teachers who have shared their wisdom.  This past spring while attending a class on this subject the instructor shared this thought.

  “Emotions should be our barometer, not our compass.”……..Dorinda Gay

Wow!  What an action packed statement!  I know that in the past I have allowed myself to wallow in my feeling of unworthiness, disillusionment and despair.  At times these feeling have consumed me and I have spent days in their uncomfortable company.  If only I had just acknowledged those feelings (i.e. gauged them like a barometer) and not let them direct me to that point of despair (like a compass finds it destination) I would not have wasted so many hours and days of my life.

  No regrets.  Each step is part of our journey.  If you know me you also know that for the past year or so heart shaped images have followed me.  They have appeared in the form of rocks, snow, leaves, oil stains, clouds, grass, reflections of light, aluminum foil, potato peels, potholes, sunlight, in a bagel and yes, even in my tomato soup!  I never take the appearance of a heart shaped image for granted, each one is a gift. And each one is a reminder to continue to live from the heart!

  Here are some of the ways I live from my heart each day…..

….Hold the door open for a stranger.

…Smile the person crossing the street.

….When the person in front of you is driving slowly don’t get aggravated you never know what they are dealing with at that moment.  Anyway, you will get where you are going.

…..Spend time outside Mother Nature is a Universal healer.

…..Tell your children you love them, and more than once a day is okay.

…..Help a friend in need.  They will be there for you too.

….. Take time to be quiet.  Silence is a wonderful healer and it contains answers.

…..Have a conversation with the cashier on the checkout line, you may just make their day.

…..Never forget to play and laugh and remember to laugh and play. With these two things, there is no such thing as too much!

…..and breathe, always breathe…..and breathe deeply!

A Serendipitous Saturday

On a typical Saturday morning I am awake and moving no later than eight o’clock.  This past Saturday I slept later than I normally do.  On Friday night I had attended a baseball game. It was a Subway Series game between the two New York baseball teams the Mets and the Yankees.  Due to heavy rain the game’s start had been delayed by an hour. At the end of the night I was very happy with the outcome, my team won.  However,by the time I arrived home it was twelve thirty in the morning.  It had been a long week at work and after the delayed game I was extremely tired.

  The next morning I awoke at nine fifteen this is later than I normally do.  I took my time getting moving. I savored my much needed cup of coffee, read the newspaper, took care of my on-line banking and caught up with my Facebook friends.  I knew my plans for the day consisted of chores, but I yearned to go out for a walk. I needed to let my mind, body and spirit synchronize and exercise.  The great outdoors has a way of doing this.  I changed my clothes, laced up my sneaker and headed out.  It was a beautifully clear early summer morning.  The sky was deep blue and the air reflected my mood, light, airy and carefree. 

  When I walk I carry my phone along with me.  It is not so I can make calls or answer text message, but to take pictures.  I happen to be the proud owner of a magical Blackberry.  It has a knack for capturing not only an image, but a thought or a feeling that is associated with the picture. For the past year or so heart shaped images have been following me.  They appear in the form of rocks, clouds, oil stains, snow, paint spills, puddles, and as reflections in the water.  They have even appeared in the center of my morning bagel.

  On Saturday morning I came across a perfectly heart shaped oil stain.  For the past week I have had a new image shadowing me.  It is the letter “M”.  I believe it holds a message for a friend of mine.  On Friday morning there were two “M”’s that appeared in the sky and on Saturday morning one more appeared on the road as a reflection through the tree leaves.  When I arrived home I sent these images to my friend.  She responded instantly in the same awe and amazement that I did. I recited to myself, “No accidents, all as it should be.”

  As I was getting ready for my day I realized that since my bank had been sold to another institution I needed to make a credit card payment in person.  The bank is in the opposite direction that I was planning on going, but I needed to take care of this.  I showered, changed my clothes, compiled my grocery list and headed out.  My time was tight.  The bank closed at one o’clock.  It was twelve thirty-five and I had at least a fifteen minute drive.

  As walked to the driveway and  reached for the handle to my car door I stopped.  The sun was cresting over the tree in my back yard and the clouds that were nestled next to the leaves looked like angels wings.  I released the car handle and walked into the back yard.  The extra minute was not only worth it, but meant to be, there was an angel watching over me.

 My route to the bank includes traveling over a picturesque two lane country road.  I was listening to a CD called “The Prayer Cycle” by Elias.  It is not only beautiful, but magically southing an equally alluring. The premise of the CD is that music is Universal.  It does not matter what language it is sung in.  We are all connected and moved by the tones and the inherent feeling.

   As I gazed ahead the beauty that I was admiring sucked the air from my lungs. I was not only breathless, but speechless.  The clouds that filled the sky looked so serene and absolutely perfect.  How was it possible that on this day, Van Gogh painted the sky?  I needed to pull over on a side street and capture the moment.

  I made it to the bank with five minutes to spare!  With my transaction complete I was drawn to turn right out of the parking lot, not the way I should go, left.  If I turned left I would be traveling a more direct route to my shopping destination, but that was not part of the plan.  I turned right.  As I was driving I had a thought, “An ice cream cone would hit the spot.”  And of course there was an ice cream shop along this route. So I made my mind up to stop at Weirs.  It has is a local spot that has quenched many souls along with its sweetness.

  I pulled into the parking lot, parked the car and made my way to the counter to order.  You know anything in moderation is good.  I wanted a small twist soft serve ice cream cone (it is a mix of chocolate and vanilla, a half and half of sorts.) At this time of the day the ice cream stand is not that busy.  There were just a few people before me. The moment that I stood in the line the woman in front of me yelled, “Kathy!”  She removed her sunglasses and hugged me. In an instant I recognized her. She possesses the most welcoming brown eyes you will ever see, a warm a smile that engages your heart and a hug that fills your soul. Within our lineage, this woman and I share a dear mutual friend. The type of friend that is always there for you no matter what, and on a typical day, has the ability to make you laugh until you cry.

  My friend having more will power than I ordered a small frozen yogurt, I went for my small twist ice cream cone. With our frozen treasures in hand we made our way to a picnic bench.  And then the flood gates opened. The gates did not release tears, but rather words. Honest conversation. These are the types of words that have the ability to bind heart to heart, connect wisdom to wisdom and link shared experience to shared experience.

  We exchanged information regarding the progress of our families. We spoke of groups we belong to.  She shared her journey in life with a new partner.  I shared my life altering trip to Sedona Arizona last year.  We spoke of shared books read.  Joan Anderson’s works were significant for both of us.  “A Year by the Sea”, “A Walk on the Beach” and “The Second Journey” whispered to both of us.  She had attended one of Joan’s retreats at The Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York and I was mesmerized as she recited the perfectly imparted wisdom of Joan Anderson. 

  We spoke of the book “Broken Open” written by Elizabeth Lesser and the significance that it had upon our lives.  Elizabeth’s words had touched us both. Through her experience Elizabeth had impacted our lives and our decisions.  With all of this discussion of words and their power, I shared that I had started this blog, and I explained how it was inspired by sharing Joan Anderson’s book “A Year by the Sea”.  Not only was Joan’s book instrumental in starting this blog, but it fueled several other friendships.

  As the conversation continued she shared that her gentleman friend was writing a book and that he had joined a local writing group.  The group was the very one that I had inquired about a year prior.   Somehow when you speak words out loud their intentions are committed to action.  I explained how I have plans to attend a writing workshop that is being conducted by an author who lives in Montana.  This is something that I need to do for me, much like my trip to Sedona. These experiences fill in the hollow pieces that reside within my soul.  And when these pieces have been filled and connected I have the ability to move forward freely and unencumbered. 

   Sitting on that bench I almost felt as she and I were the characters in Dan Fogelbergs song “Old Lang Syne.”  As the line goes “Our tongues were tired and we were running out of things to say”. But in our case we weren’t running out of things to say, we were merely running out of time.  Our frozen treats were long gone. However each of realized that the confectionary pleasure was not the purpose of the meeting, it was merely the conduit.  We shared our thoughts, fears, ideas and dreams. We shared them honestly and without reservation.   The funny thing is, as much as this conversation was one that you would share over coffee with a girlfriend, but that was not our relationship.  The Universe needed to make this meeting happen……and I am so very glad that it did.  I walked away refreshed, with a full heart and a smile that lite my soul both inward and outward.

  As I drove away from the ice cream stand I was satisfied and full not only physically but also emotionally.   I went to Wal-Mart, completed my shopping and exited the store unscathed. Upon my arrival home I unpacked the groceries and moved on.

 That evening while sitting on my deck I continued to take photos of the clouds.  The “M’s continued to appear before me. The message for my long distant friend that I spoke of this morning was apparent. As I stared at the clouds above and snapped picture after picture with my magical Blackberry I realized something.  Each step of my day was orchestrated.  Each moment was as it was to be.  Every person I spoke with I was intended to converse with. The messages I recieved and shared were as they were intented to be.   It was all perfect. ...down to the very last “M”. 

Never say never....Or never say No-No.

Friday night I bore witness to a historical event.  It may not be what you consider history worthy, but if you are a New York Mets baseball fan you agree, June 1, 2012 was a special evening. It was an event that was fifty years in the making.  After playing eight thousand and nineteen baseball games a Mets pitcher had not thrown a no hit, no run game.  And at the conclusion of the Mets eight thousand and twentieth game Johan Santana delivered what no other Met pitcher ever had, we could finally say we had a no-no!

  I share my birth year with the New York Metropolitan Baseball club; aka the New York Mets. We both came into existence in 1962. I have always been a Mets fan and have many fond memories of attending games with my Dad.  Each year he took me to some games and even included some of the special ones, helmet day, banner day and Willie Mays day. The past several years I have continued to support my team.  Along with three friends I have purchased a fifteen game package of tickets.   Even on the nights the team didn’t perform well, we always managed to have fun and share many laughs.

   The arrival of the Mets filled the void that occurred when two other National League New York baseball teams packed their bags and moved.  Both the Giants and the Dodgers headed to the West Coast after the 1957 season.  Unfortunately, the Mets have always been the red headed step child in the New York baseball arena.   Our cross town, big brother Yankees possess a long and deservedly earned rich and successful history.  With the exception of a few magical years the Mets have always lived in the shadows while the Yankees resided in the limelight.

 Friday night was the night when the red headed step child stole the stage.  It struck me that the story of the Mets and this event parallels life.

  There have been so many talented pitchers that have donned a Met uniform.  Some have been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.  There was Nolan Ryan, Tom Seaver, Jerry Koosman, David Cone, Dwight Gooden and Ron Darling just to name a few.  Several of these athletes have pitched at least one no hitter, but not one did while with the New York Mets.  For various reasons they were traded to other teams.  I doubt that if the Mets management knew that Nolan Ryan was going to pitch seven no hit games in his career that they would have traded him. Hind sight is always twenty-twenty, crystal clear.  Everyone one of us has had to make a major life decision.  Many times when we retrospectively looked at that choice, and sometime we would have made a different one. 

  When the Saint Louis Cardinals were batting at the top of sixth inning former Met, Carlos Beltran sharply hit a ball that was called foul by the third base umpire.  The umpire was in perfect position to make the call and in that instant; he saw the ball as foul.  So the Beltran’s at bat was extended. He then hit a ground ball to third base and was thrown out.  Keep in mind the umpire made the call while viewing the action in real time.  The play occurred so fast.  Of course with slow motion and multiple camera angles it appeared as if the ball touched the outside edge of the chalk field markings, and according the baseball rules should be a fair ball, a hit.  This play has been a topic of discussion. It has questioned the accuracy of the no hitter.   In life we call things as we see them and make decisions accordingly.  People have a way of using “slow motion camera’s” while looking at how we live our lives.  They have their own opinions of what we should do or shouldn’t do, but only we can make the call in the moment. We do so with our own vision, and internal compass.  Don’t let the second guessing and external chatter get to you.

  Johan Santana joined the Mets in 2008.  He came to the team as a very successful power pitcher and the Mets fans viewed him as our great hope.  Johan lived up to the hype.  He pitched very well.  He would allow the opposing team few to no runs per game, but he received little to no offensive support from his teammates.  He never complained. He never called his teammates out.  He merely continued to do his job and be a leader.

  Johan missed the entire 2011 baseball season.  At the end of the 2010 campaign it was discovered that he needed shoulder surgery.  The operation was an unusual one for a pitcher.  While performing the surgery the Doctors discovered that the damage was worse than they had initially thought.  Johan spent the entire 2011 season on the sidelines working his way back.  It was not a sure bet that he was going to break the 2012 spring training camp with the team.  But he did.  During spring training the Mets pitching coach Dan Warthen said to the media, “You would probably see the real Johan Santana around June 1^st…….boy was he right!

  Johan never called out his teammates for the lack of support.  Many times they let him down, but he never called them out. He worked diligently to return to the pitching mound and he did.  The beginning of this season contained some rocky starts.  There was even one in Atlanta where he did not make it past the second inning.  He walked off the field confidently, continued to work hard and always held his head high. 

  Friday night Johan’s team score eight runs for him, unprecedented offensive support for one of his starts, but there were also several noteworthy defensive plays.   The pivotal one was made by Mike Baxter at 27 year old with limited major league experience before this season.  Mike grew up in Queens New York the home of the Mets.  He is a Mets fan through and through.  He knew what a no hitter would mean to the organization and its fans.  So when the Cardinal’s Yadier Molina sent a line drive shot to the left field warning track, Mike Baxter crashed into the wall carrying every Met fan on his back, and he did the unthinkable, he held onto the ball even as he lay on the ground writhing in pain.

  Johan knew to never give up on his teammates. He knew that one day they will support and surprise him in ways he never imagined or expected.  I too have been amazed at the people who have come through for me at the very moment that I needed them. 

  As the game progressed into the eighth inning I needed to call my Dad.  I wanted him to know where I was.  History was in the making and I was part of it, front and center.  Dad cultivated my interest in the game and this team and I wanted him to know that I was a witness to potential history. These are the ties that bind us.  When the phone was answered I could not hear a word my Mother said, but I knew that my parents knew where I was. I was chided for making the call prior to the no hitter being recorded, but I knew whether or not I made the call the outcome was going to be as it was destined to be. And destiny was on our side.

 The tension, excitement and energy were palpable during the eighth and ninth innings. With each pitch that Johan delivered the tension heightened.  Every swing of the bat was significant. Could it be after fifty years the Mets were finally going to have a no hitter?

  When the final pitch was delivered and the strike out recorded, the stadium erupted into a collective euphoria and a tremendous sigh of relief.  The screaming, cheering and tears were deafening.  There was a release of fifty years of frustration and disappointment.  Finally the monkey was lifted from our backs.  It was done, history was recorded. A New York Mets pitcher had now thrown a no hitter, and I was there to witness it.

 We all come into ourselves at our appointed pace and time.  For some, it takes longer to occur than others. Sometimes the waiting makes the accomplishment more defined, and more profound.  It is sweeter than sweet.  When you preserver towards a goal for a long time, and it takes longer than usual for the achievement to occur, the goal takes on a life larger than itself.  Maybe some of us are late bloomers, or maybe the timing was never right. But when it does occur, it is pure, it is right and truly meant to be.  Congratulations Johan Santana and the New York Mets.  Never give up, and never stop believing in what may be. Always believe and trust in yourself and greatness will not be far away.

  

Mirror, Mirror.......

Yesterday was Memorial Day and without a doubt this year is flying by.  Obligations have kept me busy.  When you make your living in the accounting field the first three months are a blur and the next few evaporate quickly as you attempt of realign your professional and private life. But sometimes in between the chaos of commitments and deadlines  moments of wisdom and enlightenment occur. On two Tuesday mornings in April spaced exactly a week apart in the exact same spot the Universe held a mirror in front of me and imparted her wisdom.

  On the second Tuesday in the month of April some of those old, but way too familiar feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and confinement crept back into my being. On that day work was the absolutely last place that I wanted to be.  The reemergence of these feelings surprised me, I thought I had reconciled them and had moved beyond all that they represented, but here I was again, overwhelmed, discontent and angry. As I drove along the two lane country road that leads to my office the sun was assuming its place of prominence in the crystal clear blue sky. The reappearance of deep green tree leaves along with the yellow and purple flowers that dotted the roadway replaced my thoughts of financial statements, bank lines, invoicing problems and personnel issues.  The blandness of the winter was waning and the colors of spring were presenting themselves; new life and I yearned to be part of it.  But I knew that on this day I could not.

  As I drove into the parking lot feelings I struggle with were in the forefront of my mind. I know within my heart of hearts I should be thankful and overjoyed that I do have the job and position that I do. I should be grateful that I have a place to go each day and that I am successful.  But instead, I was angry. I was sad.  I was finding it difficult to muster the energy to leave the car   I sat for another moment before I turned off the engine.  I hoped that beautifully peaceful music that was emanating from the car stereo system would sooth me, but it didn’t.  And, at that moment, it was irrelevant that I was late.   To me it was all about being where I wanted to be.  And where I was, was not that place.  But obligations and responsibility speak loudly.  So I exit the car, gathered my things and head towards the front door.

   As I placed my hand upon the door handle I noticed one of that one of my downstairs neighbors was arriving.   Instead of entering the building and continuing along my way, I waited and held the door open.  Marianna is a partner in the law firm that occupies the space below my office.  She is also the General Counsel for the Company for which I work.  She possesses a slight frame, but she is extremely knowledgeable, powerful and energetic.  Her personality is effervescent and her smile wide and engaging.  But on this day the woman walking towards the door was different, so very different.  As she approached me her head was hanging downward and her eyes were gazing in the same direction. 

    I greeted her and said, “Good morning Marianna.” 

She looked up.  Her eyes were sullen, shoulders rounded and her smile was nothing more than a slight upturn of the corners of her mouth.  These were the four words she uttered “Here we go again!”
  At that moment the Universe held up a mirror and said, “Look closely”.

 Where was the vibrancy and life? This was not the woman that I thought I knew.  Then I felt that slap across my face. At that moment I realized she was reflecting all of the emotions that I was experiencing, all of the sadness, the stress, the pressure and the confinement.  I thought to myself, “Is this what I look like? Is this the image that I project?” This was nothing less than an “aha moment.” What I think I project and what I actually do are two very different things.

  So with the mirror before for me I realized that with each dawn I have the opportunity and power to define the tone of my day.  As I arise and place my feet on the floor it is my choice. Will the day be positive or not?  I can influence the outcome with my attitude and outlook and more importantly, how I present myself to those around me.  The reflection that was presented to me in the mirror that morning was not only timely but so very revealing, honest and thought provoking.

“Relationship is a mirror in which you can see yourself, not as you would wish to be, but as you are”…..…Jiddu Krishnamurti

  Exactly one week to the day removed from the Universe holding a mirror to my face, I once again approached the door to the office building that I work in.  It was a bright but crisp spring morning.  Unlike last week, this morning I was feeling grateful, vibrant and alive. I exited my car and headed toward the front door.  As I grasped the door handle my eyes were drawn downward.  There it was, nestled next to the door mat, a beautiful creature.  She was winged, mossy green with deep purple outlines and the same color “eyes” embedded in her body.  What was this?  I had never seen such an alluring and elegant creature before.  I bent down and gingerly touched her.  I was not sure if this being still existed within our realm.  She did not readily respond to my touch, but there was some movement.  I took a picture and decided that I was going to leave her just where she was.  When she was ready and able to move on she would. 

 This being was exquisite.  She took my breath away.  I had no idea who she was, but I was so very grateful for her magical presence. Not sure if she was a butterfly or not I conducted some extensive research…… That is, I posted her picture to Facebook and awaited my knowledgeable friends to respond, and they did not disappoint!  I was informed that my new found friend was a Luna Moth. 

 Even though my Facebook friends had filled in the whom, Wikipedia added a few facts about the what and when:

“Actias luna, commonly known as the Luna Moth, is a lime-green, Nearctic Saturniid moth in the family Saturniidae, subfamily Saturniinae.^[1] It has a wingspan of up to 4.5 inches,^[2] making it one of the largest moths in North America.

Life cycle ….In the northeastern United States around New Jersey or New York, the moths produce two generations each year. The first of these appear in April and May, and the second group can be seen approximately nine to eleven weeks later.
Adults eclose, or emerge from their cocoons in the morning. Their wings are very small when they first emerge and they must enlarge them by pumping bodily fluids through them. During this time, their wings will be soft and they must climb somewhere safe to wait for their wings to harden before they can fly away. This process takes about 2 hours to complete. The Luna Moth typically has a wingspan of 8–11.5 cm (3.1–4.5 in)^[4], rarely exceeding 17.78 cm (7.00 in)^[5] with long, tapering hindwings, which have eyespots on them in order to confuse potential predators. Although rarely seen due to their very brief (1 week) adult lives, Luna Moths are considered common.”
  I had shared the picture of the Luna Moth with a friend of mine.  I received this return message:

“A symbol of sensuality, the moth demonstrates the ability to transform, to change in ways that make the best of the circumstances we have been given. Representing optimism and spiritual growth, the moth embodies success, both outside and within." Definitely as sign”:)

  My friend was right, the message was clear.

  This beautiful creature that presented itself to me and took my breath away with its simple elegance was not intended to be long for this world.  Why is such beauty destined to exist for such a short period of time?  Much like the Luna Moth we are all placed upon this earth for an appointed time.  We are never informed of the duration, but we must follow the hands of our own clock.  This moth lives in a state of elegance and beauty for a week or two, others of us take years and years to achieve this status….if we ever do. And do we ever know when we reach our pinnacle, or do we live past it and never realized what we have achieved?

   Within a week’s time at the exact same spot the Universe held up a mirror and said. “Look within.”

  Be aware of how your present yourself, don’t fight the normal flow of life, go with it and remember to always be grateful.  A week later I was reminded to use my time wisely, to embrace the beauty that resides within. Each of us is a powerful being who can change, transform and learn to make the best of the circumstances that we encounter.  Life is a journey not be rushed through but rather, savored. Inner beauty is always with us, outer beauty is fleeting.  Spread your wings and embrace each and every part of who you are.
“Just remember when looking in the mirror, it is always looking back at you...the reflections seen are only ever as kind or as ill as your own projections."…..Morrigan 

Mirror, Mirror…….thank you!

Counting Minutes and Minutes that Count

   Our lives are tied to the hands of the clock.  We are slaves to that circle that records and defines time.  Always worrying where we should be, when we should be there and god forbid, why we are late.  Moments are measured, timelines are created.  Work begins at 8:00 a.m. off to an appointment at 2:00. A child’s basketball practice begins at 6:30. In between the time obligated constraints there are the other tasks that need to be completed.  Stop at the grocery store, pick up the dry cleaning, help the kids with their homework and prepare the dinner meal.  Run, run, run, one day flows into the next. Each day looks eerily the same.  There is so very little down time, if any at all.

  We have become so busy that we have designated days throughout the year that force us to slow down and take a breath.  We renew our gratitude for being American, free and independent on July 4^th.  We honor all those who have labored in the Country on the First Monday of September. The day that we give gratitude for our bounty is the fourth Thursday of November. The appointed day for us to show our appreciation for life and the gifts bestowed upon us is December 25^th. The problem with these designated days of observance is that we have created frenzy around them. Our preparation for the celebration has robbed us of the original intention. To slow down, relax and reflect.  Our lives are measured, regimented and predictable.  We conform to everyone else’s schedule and do not tend to our own wants and needs. And in all of the running and doing we have lost sight of the purest gifts and beauty that surrounds us.

  I am reminded of the character that Leonardo DiCaprio played in the movie “Titanic”, Jack Dawson. Jack was a simple man with simple needs but he possessed so much insight and understanding of what is truly important.

  His reward for pulling Rose back to safety was a first class dinner with the passengers in first class.  When he was questioned about his life, his worth and what he had accomplished. This is what he said.

“I’ve got everything I need right here with me.  I have the air in my lungs and a few blank sheets of paper. I love waking up in the morning not knowing what is going to happen or who I am going to meet, where I am going to wind up.  Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people.  I figure life is a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it.  You never know what hand you are going to be dealt next. You have to take life as it comes at you…….to make each day count.”

   

    These words contain much wisdom and serve as a wonderful reminder.  Although we have obligations and responsibilities we can still find ways to make each day count.  It is about finding pleasure and beauty in simple moments…..and more importantly remembering to carve out the time to do so. 

   As often as possible I try to get out from behind my desk and go for a walk during my lunch hour.  It is a wonderful way to regroup and refresh.  A couple of weeks ago I had an errand to run during my lunch break.  I returned to the office parking lot and I calculated that I still had a half hour of my lunch time left so I went out for a quick walk.  I abbreviated my route to accommodate the time.

  It was a somewhat mild day and the sky was crystal clear, a pure deep blue. Knowing that I was cutting my time a little too close I was ready to turn around and head back to the office when I heard a bird singing. The tones were mixed with highs, lows and cooing in between. I was being sung a story. It was beautiful and pure. Much to my amazement the bird was only six or seven feet from me in a bush. I snapped a picture and then moved a few steps to get closer. I thought the bird would fly away, but he didn’t he just went further into the bush and continued to sing. I snapped a few more pictures and he stayed there, diligently singing. I closed my eyes, and let the sunshine warm my soul. I listened for two to three more minutes; I did not worry that I would be late getting back to my desk. At this moment, the constraints of time were not important.

   What a sense of peacefulness and connection. I have never been personally serenaded by a bird and especially in such close proximity. It was truly a gift.  At that moment I understood the lesson….slow down and carve out time for yourself, especially when you think you are too busy to do so.….appreciate each moment for what it is and may be, you never know what it may bring……… be open to not only give but remember to receive.  I turned to make my way back to the office I thanked my feathered friend for the song, the lesson and the gift….and he remained in that bush singing as I walked away.

  This past Friday morning as I was rushing around to be at work by my by 8:00 a.m. start time however, while doing so I felt a strong pull to go outside and sit on my back deck.  It has been unseasonably warm in New York during the month of March.  I needed to step outside into the clear morning air and just be….so I did.

 

  I stepped out onto the wooden planks that were covered with an early morning dew.  It was fresh, clear and pure. As I sat down I noticed a golden hue peaking beyond a distant mountain top.  I was mesmerized by the sight and knew that I was not ready to move on.  I was part of an ushering in a new day, one with many possibilities.  Nothing is promised.  We only have today, there no guarantee of a tomorrow.

  Moment by moment the sun continued to rise above the mountain top, and I continued to stand as witness and in amazement.  When was the last time that I actually watched the sun rise?  Maybe last summer while on vacation? It happens three hundred and sixty five days of the year.  Some are more vibrant than others, but each day the sun does rise, and I rarely witness it.  I am too busy tending to the obligations and the chores.

  I stood motionless and silent in reverence for the beauty before me.  With each passing moment the sun became brighter, bolder and moved higher.  It was signaling a new beginning.  One in which I have choices.  Either I can mold this day into what I need to be or allow others to define how it affects me.  Standing there and soaking it all in, I knew I was going to choose to make this what I need it to be.

  After the work day was complete I exited the building for another week. I was greeted by the warm breeze and gentle reassurance of the sun.  It was a long day, and now it was time for the sun to descend.  It readying itself to rest…… but as it had this morning once again it spoke to me.  It was not in the loudest or boldest of voices but it was beckoning to be heard.  I looked towards the light in the distance. Hues of pink were now surrounding it.  Our sun is the brightest of stars the boldest of lights.  At this moment it was gently encased and protected by the wispy clouds.  Much like it did this morning, this evening it gave me a gift and whispered a message…continue to be true to yourself, follow your heart, shine your light……and make it count.  It is not about counting minutes, but appreciating the minutes that count.

Season Your Life

If you have watched any of the numerous competitive television cooking shows that are broadcast today, you have witnessed countless times the contestants being scolded by the judges for not tasting the food that they prepared and presented.   After the judge tastes the food, the exchange usually goes like this:

Judge:  “Did you taste this before you served it?”

Contestant:  “No, I didn’t but I thought it was fine” or

Contestant: “Yes I did and I thought it was well seasoned.”

Response to both answers:

Judge:  “Well it is lacking seasoning!  This is basic cooking, taste and season, salt and pepper!”

  Proper seasoning brings food to life. Unseasoned food is bland, lifeless and lacks personality.  The definition of the most commonly used spices, salt and pepper are: “Salt an element that gives liveliness, piquancy or pungency.”  “Pepper a hot, sharp condiment prepared from the dried berries of a tropical vine.”  By definition, seasoning enhances the food and brings the flavors to life.

  Much like food our lives need to be seasoned and sprinkled with moments that remind us that we are alive.  A few years ago I was running some errands during my lunch hour.  It was an October afternoon.  In the Hudson Valley of New York, fall is a beautiful time of year.   The mountains are ablaze in color and the intensity of the sun accentuates the beauty of the leaves.  However, on that particular fall day while driving back to the office I realized that I had not really noticed or appreciated the colors at all this season.  My life was in a very “bland tasting” phase.  The vibrancy was gone. I was purely going through the motions of what I had to do and not enjoying any of it along the way. That was an aha moment.  I decided I didn’t want to live this way anymore.  My life needed some seasoning!

  What is a seasoned moment?  It is one in which your senses are heightened, and your emotions are enhanced.  The salt accentuates the flavor; well actually it brings it to life and makes it pop! Our taste buds dance in delight.  The salt seasoned moments may be moments of joy, happiness, pride, elation, accomplishment or peace.  The pepper adds spark, a fire so to speak.  Fire parallels desire.  They are always mentioned as a pair, but they have no problem standing on their own. The pepper packs heat and sometimes displeasure. The pepper seasoned moments can contain determination, despair, fear, loss, failure or sorrow.  

  How many times in your life have you heard, “please pass the salt and pepper.”?  Probably too many to count, so I am passing my shakers and sharing some of my salt and pepper moments, maybe they will remind you of some of yours.

Seasoned with Salt Moments

v The birth of my children

v A day on the beach feeling the sand between my toes and the salty breeze against my skin

v My son and Dad placing third in the Cub Scout Pine Wood Derby

v Watching my daughter graduate from High School, even when the heavens suddenly open soaked us in the process!

v Enjoying a summer morning cup of coffee as the sun rises

v Listening to “Swaying to the Music” by Johnny Rivers and remembering a vacation many years ago with my sister

v Sitting by a roaring fire with a glass of wine and just being

v Childhood family vacations to New Hampshire and Fire Island

v Watching my Mom with her grandchildren

v Driving my first new car, a 1986 maroon and grey Pontiac Grand Am

v College days with my dear friend and roommate

v Thanksgivings spent on the farm and Christmas at my Grandmothers

v My recent trip to Sedona Arizona and hiking the red rocks

Seasoned with Pepper Moments

v My sister moving many states away

v Moving back to New York after college and leaving my friends in Florida

v The loss of loved ones, especially my Grandparents and Mother-in-law

v The dissolution of a friendship

v Public speaking and presentations to the Board of Directors

v Closing the door to my daughters dorm room on freshman orientation day and knowing that life as I have known it had forever changed

v Watching loved ones battle illnesses

v Witnessing my daughter display determination, leadership and heart during her Senior year of high school while playing on a very poor basketball team…she never gave up or in

v Saying goodbye to my younger sister as she boarded an airplane to spend her senior year of high school in Brazil

v September 11, 2001

v Letting go of my fear and…….stepping off an airplane in flight...and flying myself.....skydiving!

 Seasoning is not only a basic principle of cooking it is one of life too.  The seasonings we encounter in our lives make us feel something, be it good, bad, happy or sad.  Many would choose a bland life over a life that contains the extremely strong and hurtful pepper moments. I really do understand this, but the pepper moments as difficult and burning as they can be provide can us with something; many times through the heartache there emerges a new desire of a life purpose. 

 Each day remember to check the seasoning. Continue to pass the salt and pepper and season your own life and the lives of those around you.  A life well-seasoned is a life well lived.