On October 6th my Mother celebrated her 75th birthday and my parent’s celebrated their 55th Wedding Anniversary. I always appreciated how my parents simplified our calendars with this joint celebration. One day, two events. If you remembered one you were golden however, if you forgot the date, well, you were in the dog house!
Just like the Universe aligns the stars in the sky, it was destined that the family would be together on this day. Our parents had invited all of us out to dinner to celebrate the dual occasion. All four daughters were there along with two son-in-laws, one was home parenting his young son while his wife was dining with us.
Special is a word that is used and overused to express a particular feeling, but it was special and magical to all be together for this evening. Distance would soon separate us physically, the great big bear hugs won’t be possible with the whole clan, but as we always have been, we will remain close in heart and connected.
During this wonderful celebration Dad mentioned that on the following Saturday night he was going to walk in the “Light the Night” Event for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. He was looking for financial sponsors, and of course he found them at our table. They were the best kind, extremely generous. But he also found a partner in this endeavor. I told Dad that I would love to walk with him.
Both of my parents have huge hearts. They are full of compassion for their family, their friends and any one in need. Like all families we have our own inside jokes. One term that has never left our family is “mercy of mission.” Now you can probably figure out that the words were inverted, but the action and sentiment rings true. My parents have and continue to conducted many “missions of mercy”. I remember hearing that my Dad took a 50-50 ticket one evening during his bowling league to benefit a local family that lost their home to a fire. Of course Dad won, and true to himself, he gave his share to the family in need.
Dad shared his reason for wanting to walk in the “Light up the Night” event. He was walking for his Godmother who died of leukemia and his brother-in-law who has been battling lymphoma for the last thirteen years.
Now, let me tell you about Dad’s brother in law, my Uncle. From a very young age I have always known Uncle Bob to be a very precise man. Manicured haircuts, deliberate speech patterns, freshly cleaned and creased clothing are his trademarks. This of course was to the outer world. To his family and friends he is the man who listens to you….really, really listens, and then offers advice. He is the owner of the bluest pair of eyes that are full of compassion. These eyes are the portal to a wonderful and amazing soul.
When I was very young my Aunt and Uncle lived four houses away from us. At this time Uncle Bob was a Pharmacist. One summer afternoon while out playing a few of the neighborhood kids fell and landed on my arm. My Mother doctored me up, but asked Uncle Bob to come take a look at me that night. Of course he obliged. I had taken up residence in my parent’s bed and room. As clear as day I remember Uncle Bob leaning close to me so no one else could hear. He said, “Well, it doesn’t look broken, but tell your Mom it hurts a lot. You will get lots of ice cream and should sleep in the big bed.” And that I did….even though my arm was broken. I think Uncle Bob told me that just so I would not worry. And I didn’t worry.
When you are young you truly do not understand the impact of the decisions that adults make. Our worlds are small and confined. Somewhere within this time my Uncle Bob who had served with the Marines (his mandatory term) in Vietnam during the war decided, after much soul searching that this was his calling. So he re-enlisted, signed up again, or whatever you call this act of selflessness. The details of this part of his journey are fuzzy to me, but the reason why he did it is crystal clear. It is a calling, a belonging, a sense of county and a passion. The Marine Corps was a part of him as much as he was a part of the Marine Corps.
In 2005 my daughter was in the eighth grade. Her history class she was assigned a project called “Veterans in My Family.” There were a series of questions that she needed to ask each veteran. These questions included their branch of service, wars fought in, responsibilities, honors received and of course if they had anything that they would like to share or say.
My daughter called Uncle Bob and asked for his assistance. He was honored to share his experience with her. I know that there is so much more could have been included in her report. He has a very long and equally successful career as a Marine. However, the project requirements were one page per veteran. So this is the condensed version of his career and these are the words that accompanied the pictures and colorful ribbons embossed with the American flag.
“My Great Uncle, Robert Wilson was in the U.S. Marine Corps. He served for twenty six years starting in 1962. He retired from the Marines as a Colonel. He did two tours in Vietnam War. He has been assigned to Vietnam, Italy, Spain, Israel, Hong Kong, Belgium, Singapore, Okinawa, Kuwait and other countries in the Mid-East, and countries by the Mediterranean. Areas he specialized in included infantry and intelligence. My Uncle Bob has three bronze stars, a Leisure Merit, a Navy Unit Sanction, Presidential Unit Sanction (which the Unit received) and a Vietnam Course of Gallantry.
On his first tour in Vietnam he was Intelligence and the Helicopter Squad. He spent six months (on his second tour) as a Company Commander and fought in the 5th Marines Regiment on a daily basis. He lost one hundred and fifty people. He also spent six months as an Operations Officer in Planning.
He also said, “It was an honor to serve.””
I know that my Uncle’s service consisted of so very much more than this eighth grade report could begin to touch upon. I remember my Mom baking chocolate chip cookies that were not for us kids but for Uncle Bob while he was on tour. They were neatly and protectively packed in colorful metal cookie tins. Kool Aide packets always accompanied the cookies the Marines needed something to flavor the water.
Upon his retirement from the Marine Corps my Uncle began a consulting service. He and my aunt planned to make up for much of the time that they spent apart during his Marine Corps service. They love to travel and that was part of their plan.
We all know that life does not proceed solely according to our plan. Shortly after his retirement Uncle Bob was diagnosed with lymphoma. He underwent the recommended treatments and was in remission. The cancer reoccurred again but in another part of his body. Once again he underwent more treatments and then remission. This cycle has continued for thirteen years! The source of the cancer has been linked to Agent Orange that he was exposed to while serving in Vietnam. My Uncle loves the Marine Corps. The Corps has always run through his veins. Another of life’s ironies, my Uncle’s life passion is also the cause of one of his greatest battles.
Uncle Bob served twenty six years of his life as a Marine and has spent the past thirteen years fighting to survive. Like any battle a Marine may encounter the lymphoma battle has been one of strategy, attacking, and retreating. Each time a different part of the body is affected and Uncle Bob wins the battle. Some are loud victories, others are quiet ones. Marines are strong. Marines have resolve. So this lymphoma did not know what it was getting itself into when he took up residence in Uncle Bob’s body.
Last fall my cousins threw a surprise 50th Anniversary for their parents. At this time Uncle Bob was fighting a respiratory ailment. His voice may have been weakened, but his spirit was strong. There were many tributes to the couple, and heck making it 50 years together, they surely deserved it!
Each of their children had something heartfelt, funny or witty to say. The youngest son not only had words to convey his feeling, but also music. He played on this guitar the Marine Corps Hymn. We are accustomed to hearing this song performed commanding and strong by a full brass band, much like the characteristics of the Corps. But the simplicity of the guitar strings and a son’s love brought this music to a different level. Uncle Bob who has fought fearlessly for his country and deliberately for his life was overtaken by emotion. I have never seen my Uncle release such pure feelings. This emotion came from those deep blue eyes that are connected to his heart, soul and core.
The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fund raising event “Light the Night” is designed to raise not only financial support, but also emotional support for those fighting these diseases. Eager to do our part Dad and I arrived at the event ready to go. We made our way to the registration tent, as we registered Dad made sure to tell the young man who was checking us in why and for whom we were walking. With our donations turned in we received our participant bracelets and headed out to join in the “pre-game” festivities. We picked up our tee-shirts, visited the food tent and chose our balloons. Dad had the balloons planned out. They had three colors gold for those that have lost their battle with the disease, white for those who continue to battle and red for a show of support. Dad chose a gold balloon, for his Godmother and I carried a white one, for Uncle Bob. Inside the base of each balloon was a light, which in the dark, when you turned it on, would “light the night”.
True to form, at the event Dad found someone he knew. Not only did Dad know this man, but his Granddaughter was a survivor. She is a vibrant ten year old girl who was running around with her friends playing tag. She showed us that you can battle and overcome. Dad registered his Godmother’s name to read at the memory ceremony. We had something to eat, enjoyed the band, the dancers the cheerleaders and we were touched by both the Memory and the Survivors ceremony.
Darkness soon entered and we began our walk. Illuminated balloons in hand and a mixture of joy and sadness in our hearts we ventured out. Dad and I walked in silence for the first ten minutes or so. I think we were both in reflective moods. Then it struck me, I needed to enjoy this time with my Dad. I wanted to savor it. How many times do we truly have this opportunity, and how many times thereafter do we regret not doing so? I began the conversation, but it took on a life of its own and flowed. My Dad is full of insight, knowledge and wisdom. On this night he shared all three….along with some family memories. It really did not matter where or how long our walk was, all that mattered was that Dad and I were together. By doing this we were honoring two magical souls; one still with us, one who is not. It is true, family ties do bind us. They bind us in so many more ways than we realize. And on that night because of the family ties¸ more memories were created.
While driving to work the Thursday before the “Light the Night” event I was thinking about the upcoming walk and the reason why I was doing it. I was also thinking about conveying this story. So many thoughts and memories of my Uncle Bob flooded my mind, along with a few tears. I wondered if I wrote this, would he or his family be upset or offended. And as I was driving along this two lane country road, a road that I have traveled for the past five years I spotted a young man walking in the distance. I believe that this may have been the third time in five years that I had spotted anyone walking along this narrow shoulder on the road. I could see that he was wearing a red sweatshirt. I don’t know why, but I said to myself “If he is wearing a Marine sweatshirt I need to write and share Uncle Bob’s story.” Now, the red sweatshirt could have been for one of our two of our local colleges, or many professional sports teams, or just for a general advertisement. As I got closer I saw the letters were gold….and when I could read them, clearly printed across this young man’s chest was “Lejeune.” I gasped in shock! Camp Lejeune is a Marine training ground. Thank you Universe for the acknowledgement and confirmation!
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