Love Letters......

Love letters.  These two words conjure up many visions and emotions, mostly of the romantic kind.  These are the letters from one lover to another expressing devotion, connection and never ending love. Some contain poems, others are sprayed with perfume, and many are sealed with a kiss but all in all, the message is the same, “I love you”.

  In recent years I have stumble upon many different types of love letters.  Not one of them arrived in an envelope, but the message was the same, it was one of love.

 A little over four years ago my Mother-in-law passed.  I must say I am one of the very fortunate people in this world to have two very loving and devoted Mothers; my Mother and my Mother-in-law.  The “in-law” designation is one that society places on the relationship to define the non-blood line connection, but without a doubt, Mom and I are connected!

This is what happened four years ago when I was at Mom’s house for her funeral……

My kids have always been picky or particular eaters.  You could put out a feast, but nothing would appeal to them.  They possessed the chicken nuggets, fries, pizza and grilled cheese type of palets.  So with all of the food dropped by the house, and none of it appealing to my children, I found myself in Mom’s kitchen making my son a grilled cheese sandwich. 

I stood in Mom’s kitchen with Mom’s things, pots, pans, knives, seasonings, cookbooks and utensils. I looked above at her copper bottom pots hanging from the pot rack above and I remembered all of the feasts that she created in them and, in that kitchen.  Mom was a Dietician by trade.  She was a woman nourished our bodies, but more importantly our souls. 

  As much as I was always comfortable in Mom’s house, without her there it seemed wrong.  I must have opened the silverware drawer hundreds of times before, but now I felt as if I was intruding, invading.  It wasn’t right or the same without her there.   Well, nothing was going to be the same.

  I suddenly found myself drawn to the refrigerator, not for its contents, but for the items that decorated the outside.  There were several magnets that held pictures of family, Doctor Appointment reminder cards, pizza delivery options, pictures drawn by her grandchildren and lists of things to do.  However, all that I focused on was a small square magnetic paper holder that served as a depository for notes and miscellaneous items. As I walked over to the refrigerator I was focused on one particular piece of paper in the small magnetic box.  It was about two thirds of the way back.  I pulled it out and opened it.  It must have been from a funeral service for a lost friend or loved one. However, it must have touched Mom so she kept it.  This is what was printed on that piece of paper:

When I am gone, release me, let me go. I have so many things to see and do.

You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears, be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you much love; you can only guess how much you gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown, but now it's time I traveled on alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must, Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for a little while we must part. So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on. So if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near.

And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear

 All of my love around you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone, I'll greet you with a smile and "welcome home".

To this day I cannot tell you exactly why I picked to read that piece of paper versus the rest, but I do believe that I was meant to.  Mom wanted me to read it, and I knew I was to be the messenger.  She did not want us grieving.  She was content in her journey.  I shared it with my husband, his brother, sisters and a special niece of Mom’s.  It was a love letter from Mom to all of us…..no envelope necessary.

 Just a few weeks ago Mom sent another love letter.  Once again, I delivered it for her.  Mom’s niece, my husband’s cousin is going through a very difficult time.  Her twenty six year old son’s cancer was recently been labeled terminal.  I cannot imagine what she is going through as she nurses him through this.  I felt as if I needed to write her and lend my support, but I struggled mightily to find the words to do so. After many tears, the words flowed and I sent the message via Facebook. My note opened a dialog between us.  A few Friday nights ago while on Facebook she instant messaged me, this was just the second time since we have been on Facebook that we had a conversation this way.  Our conversation encompassed many feelings and ranges of emotions. 

 At one point I took a quick break and went to my kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine.  At that moment I said “Mom, please help me to find the words that will bring her a sense of comfort.”  I returned to my computer and the conversation continued.  After an hour or so of conversation we sent our love and signed off.  The very moment that we did so, a Facebook friend of mine posted a wall photo.  I stared it in amazement and chills ran through my body from head to toe!  I knew where the message came from and who it was intended for.  See, one thing I did not mention is that my Irish Mother-in-law was one of the strongest women that I have ever known.  She was sending a love letter for her niece.  I quickly attached the wall photo to a message and sent it to her.  I explained that as soon as we finished our conversation this appeared on my wall and I felt that I needed to send it to her.

  Her response was, “I think Peggy just sent that for me………” Yes she did, and…..no envelope required.

  So what do a piece of gum, a discarded piece of aluminum foil and a woodchip have in common? The answer is a love letter.

  I have a friend who was dealing with some difficulties this past fall.  She loves and connects with the image of a heart, especially when found in rocks.  Early in November I went out for a Saturday afternoon walk.  It was nice to get out since the prior week had been so difficult.  We had an unusual and unexpected late October snow storm that left us without power and many downed tree limbs.  This particular Saturday was comfortable and sunny, a perfect day for a walk.

  I ventured out not only to get some exercise, but also to think.  I find that when I walk, I clear my mind of clutter and focus on what is important to me.  My friend was weighing heavy on my mind that day.  I wished that there was some way that I could provide her with some relief and some comfort.  I was just a little over a mile into my walk when I suddenly looked down at the pavement and there it was a piece of gum with a very definite message…..

  I continued along, I had traveled just a hundred yards from the gum and there wedged between the curbing and the road was a discarded piece of aluminum foil.  I stared in disbelief at the shape that was cut from within….yes another message.

 Now I was nearing the end of my journey I was grateful for the messages that I had received and I knew that I would be forwarding them to my friend. Three miles into the walk and coming close to completion I once again I felt the need to look down and there it was a remnant from the prior week’s storm clean up; a woodchip with a message.

 Upon my return home I composed an e-mail to my long distance friend and included the picture of the gum, the aluminum foil and the woodchip. Once again I was the messenger delivering another love letter, with no envelope required.

 Just two weeks ago I received my own love letter, and no the postman did not deliver it.  As much as possible I try to use my lunch hours to get outside and take a walk.  It is not always easy to do, but when I can I find that this “recess” time renews and refreshes me. 

 It was a clear and sunny but equally cold and extremely windy, but I had the opportunity to get outside and that I did.  I was about eight minutes into my lunchtime walk the wind was whipping at my back and piercing my body.  I thought “Umm, not happening today, turn around and go back.” But this time I did not listen. I continued along my two mile trek.  As cold as it was, (and I do not like the cold) I found it very refreshing and more importantly, mind clearing.

 Refreshed but ready to warm up I rounded the final corner of my journey to decent back to the warm office.  However, as I did if felt compelled to take a picture, so I stopped, removed my glove and readied my cell phone.  I took the picture, put my glove back on my cold hand and took two more steps.  But I then again felt as if I needed to take another picture.  So I removed my glove, readied the cell phone and snapped….this is what I captured.

Yes, it was another love letter that was delivered without an envelope or a postage stamp.  This one is from the Universe to all of us. And it is sent with love………