Thinking Spot

  I believe we all have at least one, a thinking spot that is.  It is the one place that we are able to really clear our minds and fully engage our thoughts, feelings and ideas.  Thoughts that are free flowing and unencumbered. 

  Although I have many great thinking spots, my favorite thinking spot in the whole world is in Cape Cod Massachusetts. It is when I sit upon a rock jetty on Glendon Beach that I have experienced clarity in thoughts and ideas that rival no others.  I just returned from my family’s week vacation on the Cape and yes, I spent much time upon that rock soaking in the views from all angles and letting my thoughts flow much like the ocean tides that were caressing the shore.

  As a family we have journeyed to the Cape for the better part of ten years.  And through the years the thoughts that I have engaged have varied along with the ages and experiences of my children.  I have worried about the firsts, my daughter’s entry into the Middle School and then the High School.  Similar concerns engulfed me when it was my son’s turn to make these transitions. As a Mother I don’t think we ever have an easy go of it when our children venture out into new and unchartered waters.  Of course I had major concerns during the College selection year, and whoa, that summer that preceded the start of my daughter’s freshman semester…..well I think it goes without saying that those hours spent at my favorite thinking spot were full of anxiety and apprehension.  Although, I must say I was able to outwardly dispel most of those concerns.  I left many of them upon that rock.

  Through the years while sitting on that rock I have come to peace with illnesses and deaths of loved ones.  I have wrestled with and pinned financial concerns.  Overcome workplace issues and tossed my guilt for all of the things that I didn’t accomplish from visit to visit into the sea.  I’ve learned that I cannot let things outside of my control determine my happiness.  So instead of letting these thoughts control me I focused on thoughts of things that I can control things that I can do to move forward in a positive direction.

  This year I found my thoughts focused on peace, inner peace that is and focusing on the next steps in my journey. What is it that I want to do with my life?  What can I do in my lifetime that has a positive effect on others?  I know we all leave our footprints in the sand.  Some are more defined and significant than others, but all pertinent and important. What are my footprint to say and in what direction will they go?

 On Thursday I sent birthday wishes to my Grandmother who had passed this past January.  I shed tears for the upcoming move from New York of my friend, my champion, my sister who will be moving from our area at the end of August.  Although I am happy for her as she begins taking the first steps into the next part of her life journey, however I am sad for me because I will not have her close in proximity.  I guess I will have to settle for close in heart.…….funny how we just seem to take certain things for granted.

 I thought of our changing family dynamics.  This was the first year that my daughter did not join us.  She now has work obligations. I remembered when I made that transition myself and recalled how my focus had shifted with my ever growing responsibilities. 

  Last night, my last night on the Cape I ventured back to the beach just as the sun was painting the sky in a beautiful shade of peachy pink.  I stood at the point where the water kisses the shore.  My feet sinking deeper into the sand much like my heart was doing because I knew it was time to say goodbye to my favorite spot for another year.  Life goes on and much happens in between visits.  As it became darker I made my way back to my favorite thinking spot.  I climbed upon the rocks and sat down once again.  I committed the smells, sounds and feelings to memory.  I will draw upon them many times throughout the year, and the memories will serve me well.

 And as I sat at my favorite thinking spot, it spoke to me, as only it can.  See, as wonderful as the sights and smells are after a while the rock hurts my ass!!!!  It is telling me stop sitting……get up and start doing….. So, I will and here I go!!!!